Sunday, November 18, 2012
One of my favorite people (yes, you, Mary) often says "Don't judge" in her cute, funny way when revealing something about herself that she thinks just might elicit disparaging remarks. I've taken to saying it myself fairly often. It comes in handy on more occasions than you might think.
And then I find myself judging, and I quickly remind myself:
Yesterday at the 5K, I was running behind a woman with a quite large bottom, and I instantly had to squelch my Inner Judge. We all start somewhere. Who knows if someone else was running behind me and judging my appearance or running form. I admire everyone -- big or small -- who gets out there and MOVES. Notice too that she was running AHEAD of me. Bigger AND fitter -- you go, girl!
After the race yesterday I came home and baked 4 dozen cookies and 2 dozen muffins for church today. When I took them into the church kitchen, I was surprised by how many store-bought treats others had brought. My thinking was something along the lines of "I baked, why can't you?" Judging, anyone? Yup. You know what? Some people are even busier than me. Some people don't know how to bake. Whatever the reason, who am I to judge? They did a nice thing bringing in treats to share.
I'll never forget one of my more fashionable friends commenting on another friend's outdated shoes. I am never up on current trends. It's just not something I care about a whole lot. I want to look nice, but I also just don't have the mental energy or money to invest in staying on top of fashion trends.
Maybe that's what "Don't judge" boils down to: Not everyone cares about what you care about.
I love to bake. It brings me joy to make food and share it with others. Not everyone bakes or cooks.
I love to read to my kids. I have a friend who says she hates reading to her kids. Ugh, that just makes me sad! But you know what -- she's a great mom and does all kinds of other activities with her kids.
We don't all live the same life or have the same hopes and dreams or butt size. And that's okay. Live your own life.
The funny thing is -- those times when we (some of us) fear being judged are probably the same times that NO ONE CARES.
Do you feel self-conscious about going the gym? I used to, years ago, before I got truly serious about losing weight, and then, in all honestly, I could not have cared less if everyone in the gym had been staring at me. I was going to work out no matter what.
I've been in other situations that made me extremely uncomfortable, feeling that people were staring at me. Judging me. Who knows, maybe there were some fashionistas looking, berating my cheap Target sweater and Old Navy vest. Stare all you want! I'm wearing it, and I like it, so bugger off. People look, maybe spacing out not even really looking AT you, or maybe judging because that's how their mind works, or maybe thinking kind thoughts toward you. You just never know. It's best not to care or feel paranoid about it. Just live your life.