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Don't Judge

Sunday, November 18, 2012

One of my favorite people (yes, you, Mary) often says "Don't judge" in her cute, funny way when revealing something about herself that she thinks just might elicit disparaging remarks. I've taken to saying it myself fairly often. It comes in handy on more occasions than you might think.

And then I find myself judging, and I quickly remind myself:

Don't judge.

Yesterday at the 5K, I was running behind a woman with a quite large bottom, and I instantly had to squelch my Inner Judge. We all start somewhere. Who knows if someone else was running behind me and judging my appearance or running form. I admire everyone -- big or small -- who gets out there and MOVES. Notice too that she was running AHEAD of me. Bigger AND fitter -- you go, girl!

After the race yesterday I came home and baked 4 dozen cookies and 2 dozen muffins for church today. When I took them into the church kitchen, I was surprised by how many store-bought treats others had brought. My thinking was something along the lines of "I baked, why can't you?" Judging, anyone? Yup. You know what? Some people are even busier than me. Some people don't know how to bake. Whatever the reason, who am I to judge? They did a nice thing bringing in treats to share.

I'll never forget one of my more fashionable friends commenting on another friend's outdated shoes. I am never up on current trends. It's just not something I care about a whole lot. I want to look nice, but I also just don't have the mental energy or money to invest in staying on top of fashion trends.

Maybe that's what "Don't judge" boils down to: Not everyone cares about what you care about.

I love to bake. It brings me joy to make food and share it with others. Not everyone bakes or cooks.

I love to read to my kids. I have a friend who says she hates reading to her kids. Ugh, that just makes me sad! But you know what -- she's a great mom and does all kinds of other activities with her kids.

We don't all live the same life or have the same hopes and dreams or butt size. And that's okay. Live your own life.

Don't judge.

The funny thing is -- those times when we (some of us) fear being judged are probably the same times that NO ONE CARES.

Do you feel self-conscious about going the gym? I used to, years ago, before I got truly serious about losing weight, and then, in all honestly, I could not have cared less if everyone in the gym had been staring at me. I was going to work out no matter what.

I've been in other situations that made me extremely uncomfortable, feeling that people were staring at me. Judging me. Who knows, maybe there were some fashionistas looking, berating my cheap Target sweater and Old Navy vest. Stare all you want! I'm wearing it, and I like it, so bugger off. People look, maybe spacing out not even really looking AT you, or maybe judging because that's how their mind works, or maybe thinking kind thoughts toward you. You just never know. It's best not to care or feel paranoid about it. Just live your life.

And remember:

Don't judge.
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  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

BROOKLYN_BORN 11/23/2012 7:08PM

    Perfectly stated, especially "Not everyone cares about what you care about." I love that.



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LEIELD 11/21/2012 3:05PM

  I like your comments in this blog - it is far better to find something positive about any given person in your viewing area, than to think negative thoughts that can only come back to haunt you.

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JUMPINJULIE 11/19/2012 5:50PM

    What a great reminder i try my best not to judge anyone but it is hard sometimes and you have to remind yourself to each his own right or her own as may apply. emoticon

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-CORAL- 11/19/2012 1:44PM

    Thank you for this reminder today and great analysis of the origin of judging. emoticon

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IRONBLOSSOM 11/19/2012 12:48PM

    emoticon You are so right and it's a lesson we all can work on and all need to learn! I've done the same, there was a guy at a function I attended over the weekend and he's too big to walk, he has to ride a scooter everywhere and I definitely had the thought "how do you let it get that bad!" But I had the same thought you did, "don't judge, you don't know what he's going through." Later, I heard some teenagers saying "GOD, how could anyone get SO FAT." And I wanted to tell them off for being brats, but you know? They're probably scared that it could happen to them and being teenagers, they don't know how to handle it so they mock.

I think you hit the nail on the head about priorities. What's important to me may not be important to you and vice versa, trying to be the best at the things that are important to everyone will just drive you nuts!

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WILLOWBROOK5 11/19/2012 11:30AM

    This is a very powerful and important message. I need to work on not judging others. I've gotten pretty good at ignoring most people's judgments of me as I've grown older, at least! Thanks for the great blog!

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SADWHITEWOLF 11/19/2012 10:26AM

    Thank you for that. It is a lesson we all struggle with.

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MEXGAL1 11/19/2012 9:59AM

    We all fall prey to judging and I agree we need to check ourselves occasionally so we don't let it get out of hand. Thank you for the reminder.
Have a great day!
Sallie

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KNYAGENYA 11/19/2012 8:21AM

    Words to live by.

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DABLUECAT 11/19/2012 7:33AM

    emoticon emoticon

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AUTUMNBRZ 11/19/2012 7:10AM

    I love this blog! Great message. We all need this reminder from time to time! :)

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JSALERNO 11/19/2012 5:38AM

    LET'S NOT JUDGE

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LESSOFMOORE 11/18/2012 9:04PM

    Be blessed, and thanks for sharing!

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TAFODIL24 11/18/2012 6:57PM

    emoticon emoticon blog

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BRANDNEWME78 11/18/2012 6:10PM

    This is a great blog! I am also guilty of this and try to catch myself before I start judging. Thanks for the awesome reminder!!

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CAPECODBABE 11/18/2012 5:44PM

    What a great blog!!! Made me think!!! emoticon

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NEVERORNOW 11/18/2012 5:29PM

    emoticon Thanks for the important reminder.

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OJ_2_OK 11/18/2012 5:16PM

    I love this blog and I've been noticing myself lately "judging" and telling myself not to as well. This is a good life lesson/mantra to carry around.

We all don't have the same priorities and are at different walks in our lives.

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MILTONS1 11/18/2012 4:50PM

  You are so right. Nice blog (and no judgment involved) emoticon

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