Saturday, November 17, 2012
Thanks to the work, support and inspiration of my wonderful husband, I am over halfway to my goal. No longer obese, but still a ways away from being "healthy" (although significantly healthier than I was). As my husband nears the end of his journey, I have started to think about what I have learned so far.
1. I would never have been able to do this without him. He has made it so easy, I feel like I'm cheating. Loosing weight should be harder than this, but having someone else to support me and do the vast majority of the planning has made this almost too easy.
2. Even with everything laid out before me, I have still managed to regularly sabotage myself. Avoiding treats at work is almost impossible, I just don't have that kind of willpower. Thankfully, my meals at home have been so good these little dips have only slowed me down, not stopped me outright.
3. As a woman and as someone who doesn't have the same kind of flexibility, time and, sadly, drive, it is simply not possible for me to loose as fast as he does. It is hard not to find that discouraging, and it is hard not to be jealous, even while being proud all at the same time.
4. Eating right and exercising are only part of loosing weight. The biggest, and hardest part, is mental. And that has to come before everything else. Dealing with the psychological stuff is not something that you can put off or avoid. In the end, it is the source of my weight problem, be it looking for that quick boost of energy, that momentary comfort or that momentary stupidity of deliberate self-sabotage. I have had to come face to face with my demons and I have to be okay with the fact that sometimes they got the better (or rather worst) of me.
5. Even when you are on the journey together, you can feel left behind. My husband used to ask me to slow down on our walks, now he's always two steps ahead of me. Neither of us is obese anymore, but he's starting to looking like a Greek statue and well I'm not. This doesn't seem to register with him, he's so proud of me, but sometimes it's hard not to be a girl - if you know what I mean - and I have to just get over that and be happy with what I am right now for myself.
6. After months, success is sometimes not motivating enough to avoid that milkshake. After a week of thinking about it, giving in is okay as long as you plan for the splurge. And order a small instead of a regular.