Saturday, November 17, 2012
If the world shall disappoint you, it will be your own fault. " Mark Hopkins
My life was one heartbreak after another. At 13 our house burnt to the ground at 15 my alcoholic father walked out on us which left us in poverty with not much food and broken hearts. My twenties included being drugged raped by my boyfriends brother. And then after spending seven years with my fiancée, right before Christmas and 6 months from our wedding day he told me he didn't love me but wanted to be with a 52 year old overweight man instead.
In my thirties met my husband on what was supposed to be my wedding day. He broke my heart too, and liked to party a little to much. Then came three miscarriages,and finally a son. Then my daughter who needed a pacemaker at 4 . Then came numerous doctor bills, we lost our house and had to move in with my mother-in law. I hated my life I was forever negative . I could not see any good in it all.
Then one day I got a message and it said may the rest of your life be filled with joy. And Mrs negative had a hard time finding it,but I slowly did. And then it grew and the joy grew so much that it burst my cold negative heart and replaced it with a new positive one. I love my life every bit of it now even the heart aches.
I even see the past differently .I shouldn't have grieved for my father and wanted him back because my life was safer and calmer without him. My twenties were not the greatest but being raped and having a break up wasn't the end of the world that I thought it was then. My husband partied so much because he had a very negative wife incapable of giving him the love he needed. I had two beautiful kids and really what difference did it make what house we lived in if we were all together but stupid negative me couldn't see this.
I am so happy that I opened my eyes and now see the sunshine. Life is good if you look at the positive side. Being positive doesn't change a thing but it does make life a ton sweeter. Always remember if the world shall disappoint you then it is your fault.