Friday, November 16, 2012
Today was perhaps the longest day of the school year so far. I don't know why though. It was not HARD and the kids and aides were all in a good mood. I was on edge and irritable though.
By the end of the day, I was ready to scream. Objectively the day was pretty good. Inside my head it was a nightmare. It was like everything from the past few weeks suddenly dumped down on my shoulders and I wanted to cry.
I ate fine - the only temptation was handled well. I was really REALLY tempted to buy a gigantic candy bar. I even had to stop at one store to pick up my son's prescriptions. There was lots and lots of candy on display. I bought a candy bar. Then, I left the store and went to the grocery store to get milk and eggs. Again the candy bars tempted me. I did not get one there, but instead bought raspberries and ate them on my way home from school. The candy bar . . . still in the purse and it will go in my PLANNED indulgence cupboard for some time when I want it a LOT more than I did today when I really only wanted it because I wanted to emotionally eat and soothe myself. It wouldn't have helped so I saved it for some time when I want it just because that is what I want and NOT to self-medicate with food.
I felt fine when I got up this morning and was in a really good mood. Was up early enough to have a good breakfast and get a few things done BEFORE heading to school. Got my stuff done and felt on top of things, but the day deteriorated quickly and it was all petty and stupid little annoyances.
I am going to head to bed. Tomorrow I am going to a training session at church and am looking forward to it. I may stop at the store and get a turkey if they are a good price. i like to get a couple when they are on sale. I already have the one for Thanksgiving but will pick up at least one more if the price is right.