Friday, November 16, 2012
November, you've sucked. You can end now.
I've been in such a bad mood all month. I know why. But I'm ready for it to be done. And it just gets worse. I've been arguing with the girlfriend and things came to an over boil last night and just meh. Meh is all I got.
She's at band practice tonight and I feel lonely and want to go out. But I don't have any friends to go out with. They're all in the city. I'm in the suburbs. And I'm broke. So it would be stupid of me to waste gas to drive. I just want interaction with someone who isn't 4 or 5 or a boss. I love the kids I watch and hugged them up today. And I love the parents I work for, but I don't talk to them about super personal stuff. Obviously.
I was thinking about going out tonight and just sitting at a bar and nursing one drink and just being around people. But then I decided I was fed up with my bangs and cut them myself. Mistake. I've done it before without a problem but tonight was not the night to do it. Now I'm just going to stay home and hide my shame.
Fantastic Stef. Way to go. It looks GREAT. Right.
I'm just lonely and my stomach is in knots from stress. Though instead of binge eating from stress, instead I'm barely eating anything at all. I guess that's a switch.
I'm really missing my dog this week. So much. I've cried lots about her. And the little girl I watch has RANDOMLY started bringing her up all week. Why? Why do this to me? I know she doesn't understand but of all weeks. C'mon kid. When I go home to Texas for Thanksgiving next week I'll get to go visit where I spread her ashes this summer at my grandparent's. With the mood I'm in I'll probably just sit in the dirt and cry.
I'll just go mope in my own woe for a while and hope things to get better soon. There's not even anyone online to talk to tonight. Damn Friday nights.