Friday, November 16, 2012
Alright Sparkies. It’s really very simple. The holidays are looming and we Sparkies are looking forward to them like Israelis look forward to rockets from the Gaza Strip, like Obama supporters look forward to editorials on Fox News, like children look forward to vaccines during visits to the pediatrician, or like adults look forward to audit notices from the IRS.
Aside from family, friends, camaraderie and such, when it comes to the reasons we all are out here on Spark, nothing good can come of the holidays, Spark-wise. Nothing at all.
Except this. I propose a simple solution. Drop eight pounds. EVERYONE can drop eight pounds. Single digits. If you are on maintenance, gain one and lose one, eight times in a row. There are six weeks between now and the New Year. So here’s how:
1. Weigh in this weekend.
2. Weigh in every six days. The goal is to be one pound less, each time you weigh in.
3. Thanksgiving will come. And go. And so will the Company Holiday Party, Goodies Arriving at the Office, Chanukah, the Winter Solstice, Christmas Eve, Christmas Day, Kwanzaa and New Year’s Day. Each of these present their own food and drink temptations. Give in if you must, or don’t. In either case, every sixth day, come hell or high water, up on the scale you go, every six days. Lose one pound each time. One measly pound, each time.
4. Large cash prizes are available to whomever, like me, WILL lose eight pounds between now and January 1, 2013. Never you mind or worry about where the cash comes from. My laser printer is working quite well, and you should see this cool green paper with the little fibers built in. I even have a paper-cutter, to make perfectly shaped Benjamins. Franklin would be impressed.
5. All you need to be is brutally honest in a status or blog – every six days post how you are doing and why. Preface the status or blog with “8 LBS” – so we all will know that you’re playing.
6. No teams to join, or special requirements, other than outlined below.
E-I-G-H-T. Five letters. Five simple steps:
E – Eat in Great Moderation – Use the Sparky tracker or otherwise be super-careful, as holiday foods are super-caloric. If it looks, smells, tastes or feels deadly, it is.
I – Indulge in Damn Little – Little tastes only, of the holiday goodies, if that. Abstinence is the key, here.
G – Greet the challenge of this effort in positive light. Think not about the deprivation of the missed eating and drinking opportunities, but how much happier you will be come January 1st.
H – Hoist eight glasses of water a day. Wait, do you know what? Make it ten. You better.
T – Tell the rest of us how you are doing, with regular status updates, blogs, or comments below.
Blow one intermediate weigh-in and you are out. Last person standing wins the cash. In the event of more than one, cash prizes will be pro-rated amongst those who remain, based on relative weight lost. One other simple rule: brutal, cold-light-of-day, unflinching, honor-system honesty.
Alright, that’s it. Simple, huh? Who’s in?
Update Sat 11/17 - I recommend no starting weigh-in until Sunday 11/18 - you sure don't want the next one on Friday morning (the frigging VERY NEXT MORNING after Thanksgiving itself!), do ya?