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Journaling From The Heart - Workbook 1 - Assignment 5 - Relationship to self

Friday, November 16, 2012

This assignemend is to focus on the words we used in assignment 4, www.sparkpeople.com/mypa
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and ask ourselves on the following questions:

Think about your relationship to yourself.
1) Do you treat yourself as well as you treat others?
2) Do you give yourself adequate vacation time and bonuses (employee)?
3) Do you love yourself unconditionally (child)?
4)Are you always there for yourself in difficult times (friend)?
5)Are you your own greatest advocate (partner)?
6)Do you even treat yourself as well as your pets?

And also add something you promise yourself to improve areas that need work. E.g you may write I will allow myself to take a nap when Im feeling tired. Or I will give myself a trip to the museum or a dinner out just because I deserve it.

_____________

My mood before going into this exercise is peaceful and happy.

From the words i used for myself in the last assignment these are the words i used based on someone else : Granddaughter, daughter, sister, niece, cousin, and nurse

Words i used based on myself were: Aithley, 25 years old, Libra, September child, traveler, writer, free thinker, extrovert, people's person, kind, loving, sweet, generous, courageous, willing and me!

I believe i treat others better than i treat myself, i am always in a caring and loving nautre towards my patients, aswell as family and friends, towards myself sometimes i can be somewhat criticizing especially when it comes to my weight. There are times when i do things bad with food like taking another bite of one of the indulgence food, i tend to beat myself up verbally in my head, and when the scale shows a gain or no loss i am even more harder on myself, i do try to see the positive in my weight loss with other factors but somehow i can shrug it around that number on the scale. Maybe i am just a little too focus with the scale when it comes to my weight loss, and i need to break that habit and truly be happy for the inches i may have lost.

I have enough vacation time i believe, i am allowed to take most holiday times off like Easter, Christmas and so forth, and if my birthday falls on a Friday or a Monday or in the weekend, i ask for a long weekend. I also get free time off work when i go abroad, before i go i get a week or 2 and when i come back i get close to a month off, so pretty much i have alot of vacation time, but i have a job that i enjoy so it makes my year happy lol.

I don't believe i love myself, i may like myself but to truly love myself i would need to be able to have more confidence with myself, i am an extrovert but alot of it comes from impulsion from bite the tongue and go, but to do something like girls shopping i sink in within myself or even looking at the mirror, it is hard for me to do that monthly photo but i just tell myself i need to do it to help me to keep accountable for. I usually do things because of the cause but if my own will took over i would not be doing any of it, because i am too scared to succeed in a way, or to fail i don't know changes and progress tends to scare me despite knowing it is good for me. As for an inner child i do have her there all the time lol.

I dont think i am there for myself in difficult times, i tend to shut the world out, curl up in my blankets and hide in the dark courner, but if a friend is in need and asks me to be there , i am always there in a heart beat. But asking help on my side , i find it hard to do, it sometimes comes to the point where i crack on a simple question like "How are you today?" And then it all comes out , I am just glad i don't have too many down days in my life.

I believe i am a good advocate to myself, i always have that second voice i guess you can say that is always telling me ... "Aithley you can do it, come on now do it" and similar words, also motivating quotes and songs and coming on sparkpeople hearing notes helps me get that morale boost i need at times to keep going, In the past i would have to admit that i was someone who gave up quickly once things got tough i went packing, but i have been a learning process for most of my life and i am overcoming that and in a good way too.

I have no pets, but pets at my family or friends house i tend to cuddle them and tickle under the chin or scratch their head, seems like dogs and cats like that, so do horses, ponies , cows don't care much nor do sheep but lambs like it and so do calves. I do not show the same affection with them as i do with myself, besides brushing my hair, i don't wear makeup or do my nails or anything like that, i am a hygienic person but to make myself beam up with added attention i just do not do that. Maybe i should start actually pamper myself like most females my age do. I guess because of my work i do not do it but i should be doing these things when i go out to parties or gatherings and other outings.

Personal promises i should add to myself:
- Wear something fancy when going out because i deserve to feel special
- Wear some makeup when i have an occasion , because i can and i am allowed to beam up with added attention once in awhile.
- Wear some nail polish, because it is part of being pampered as a lady, and i deserve that
- I will allow myself a small energy nap when i am too tired to continue with my day because i do deserve a decent rest.
- I will be more easier on myself because i am worth the time .

_____________________

1. How did this go for me?

Wow what a journal blog post, that really opened my eyes to how i feel and treat myself deep within. It was at first hard to get the words to say, but once i started it just seemed to keep flowing. And i didn't miss any points either.

2. What did i learn?

I learnt it is ok to love yourself and take more attention to myself because i too am important.

3. This brought up something new, what?

It brought up feelings for myself i forgot i had, it make me realise there is alot of room for improvement and i should be alot easier on myself.

4. Mood after completing the exercise?

I feel just wow and amazed (lol).

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WINNINGBATTLE 11/16/2012 8:04PM

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