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Teenagers and Peri - Menopause and Exercise...OH MY


Friday, November 16, 2012

I swear Spark People keeps me centered while my non-cyber life is whacked.

First, I have a teenaged daughter who has just started therapy for anxiety. emoticon That sounds tame enough, but her anxiety plays out like this...
- everything I say gets on her last nerve
- she is a secretive eater - the more processed the better. I found two bags of Doritos and one bag of Reece's Cups (completely eaten) under her covers. There were three canisters of Pringles and a large bag of bubble gum in her night stand. Lord knows what is in her backpack.
- she takes things (clothes, cosmetics, hair dryers) from everyone in the family (extended family too) and she'll bite your head off if you ask about them.

The bottom line is she is on high alert all the time and I just don't know how to comfort her.

She's the sweetest, smartest (great grades) kid to everyone else but at home she's intolerable. Some days I just pray to find a way to be loving to her. She's got a deep whole and she does not know how to fill it. Frankly, she's a disaster (drinking/drugs) waiting to happen.

I was thrilled to have both of my daughters while in my thirties. However, had I done the math, I would have discovered that I would be going through menopause while they were both teenagers. emoticon
In many ways we are the same hormonal mess, just at different ends of the spectrum. I can go a couple of months without a period. Sounds great, right? What no one told me was that most of the time I'd feel like I was super pre-menstral. emoticon

The happy ending to this is that after being brought to tears by my daughter's criticism, I went for a long walk with the dogs. I've never responded to upset with exercise. Wow, what a difference a walk can make. I didn't wallow in the hurt or obsess over cross words, I just walked and breathed and was grateful that it wasn't raining. I was able to re-enter the house with a new perspective.

My daughter seems to appreciate going to therapy (sigh of relief) For that, I am grateful. My greatest hope is that she will get some confidence and loosen up. When she was young she was witty and self-assured. I want that true-self to find a place on the thrown, not in the dungeon.
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Member Comments About This Blog Post:
DLDMIL 11/18/2012 8:56PM

    Sorry to hear about your daughter's anxiety issues. Hang tough both of you will come through it. Been there done that, it wasn't easy, but we made it. emoticon emoticon for going for the walk.

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LAURIETAIT 11/17/2012 1:00AM

    I guess that the silver lining in all this is that they trust us enough to be absolutely horrid to us knowing they we love them and will forgive them. What is is about over achieving girls that make them into nasty teens, Can you tell i had one too? The key is to find a healthy way to cope until they become human again. Sounds like you've got a handle on that. I agre with DEBBY4576. "this too shall pass." Hang in there.

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DEBBY4576 11/16/2012 9:02PM

    oh, boy. Been thru that myself. Three daughters. Only one was a big pain in the well you know where. She was also born with a real high IQ. I could tell as a baby that she was probably going to be a difficult teenager. I know all will go okay. This too shall pass. But it sucks. My husband said she wasn't happy until she had everyone in the family unhappy. Mornings were awful. Well, any time was awful. She btw went on to college, got a BS, then a Masters degree in engineering. So although they are difficult, those daughters usually do become successful. Even with partying and drinking they make it thru.So very very difficult. Can you tell I'm overly empathetic?

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PORTIAWILLIS 11/16/2012 6:54PM

    My heart goes out to you. I have been there and done that. I started walking during those days and believe that is what saved my sanity. The good thing i can say is "this too shall pass". My daughter and i couldn't be in the same house. Today we are great friends and her day is coming. My granddaughter is just like her and turns 13 in feburary. HAHA Stay strong and keep walking

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BEARGODDESS 11/16/2012 6:23PM

    I'm SO glad that you dealt with the stress by going for a WALK instead!! emoticon emoticon Good for you! I can't help you with the teen-caused stress (no kids here) but it's also wonderful that she's getting help and most importantly is receptive to it.
I felt the same way as you do now when I was going through peri-menopause. The good news is that it DOES get better. After the periods were gone, so went the constant PMS feeling with them. However.....they did leave behind the hot flashes which can go on for years (they have with me) but I'll take them over the periods and PMS ANYTIME!
I'm so glad that this is a calm centered positive place for you to come. I know it is for most of us!

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