I swear Spark People keeps me centered while my non-cyber life is whacked.
First, I have a teenaged daughter who has just started therapy for anxiety.
That sounds tame enough, but her anxiety plays out like this...
- everything I say gets on her last nerve
- she is a secretive eater - the more processed the better. I found two bags of Doritos and one bag of Reece's Cups (completely eaten) under her covers. There were three canisters of Pringles and a large bag of bubble gum in her night stand. Lord knows what is in her backpack.
- she takes things (clothes, cosmetics, hair dryers) from everyone in the family (extended family too) and she'll bite your head off if you ask about them.
The bottom line is she is on high alert all the time and I just don't know how to comfort her.
She's the sweetest, smartest (great grades) kid to everyone else but at home she's intolerable. Some days I just pray to find a way to be loving to her. She's got a deep whole and she does not know how to fill it. Frankly, she's a disaster (drinking/drugs) waiting to happen.
I was thrilled to have both of my daughters while in my thirties. However, had I done the math, I would have discovered that I would be going through menopause while they were both teenagers.
In many ways we are the same hormonal mess, just at different ends of the spectrum. I can go a couple of months without a period. Sounds great, right? What no one told me was that most of the time I'd feel like I was super pre-menstral.
The happy ending to this is that after being brought to tears by my daughter's criticism, I went for a long walk with the dogs. I've never responded to upset with exercise. Wow, what a difference a walk can make. I didn't wallow in the hurt or obsess over cross words, I just walked and breathed and was grateful that it wasn't raining. I was able to re-enter the house with a new perspective.
My daughter seems to appreciate going to therapy (sigh of relief) For that, I am grateful. My greatest hope is that she will get some confidence and loosen up. When she was young she was witty and self-assured. I want that true-self to find a place on the thrown, not in the dungeon.