Looking out or in?

Friday, November 16, 2012

after dinner the way I behaved over food but mostly sugar( chocolates, candy bars) always makes me cringe... "do I have no will power what so ever?" Beat myself up for a few hours and then give up and eat everything in the house... I've read all the books, I continue to try yet I continue to fail. Maybe it's the try word why can't I just do it. It's everywhere I go. You can't hide from it, you can't stop your friends from getting it... or the looks and food pushers trying to make you fit in...
Noticing my surroundings, noticing that everywhere you go there's food, treats, that make you want to have a taste... eat it as you walk around shopping. Its like shopping for emotions, for a rush the same as buying shoes or a purse except it's short lived, only making you want more looking harmless but carrying an insane amount of calories. I feel manipulated, everything, everywhere it's a roller coaster of advertising, an industry of it's own the millions that must be spent to create this "happy pill" for I strongly believe its a drug, I can honestly say I have tried and failed so many times even quitting smoking was easier... how can this be?. It makes me so angry, feeling so powerless.

Remembering that this is a lifestyle not a diet is key but so easy to forget when all you want is that piece of cake.... I don't know about anyone but I find myself thinking about what to eat, what I will eat next even as I'm sitting down eating... some day's it's probably all I think about! Obsessed?? Maybe.. it seems to be the only topic I'm really interested in ....... what should I do? How can I end this vicious cycle? How can I be so strong yet so weak at the same time??!!! My all or nothing attitude when it comes to actually working out has always been temperamental always quit when I'm comfortable with my weight... but when I'm serious there's always issues with over training (since I can't seem to get a handle on the diet... ) have made me take time off and then I just quit... but slowly I will tame this beast! build a foundation, one day at a time but being honest about my own hypocrisy and my double standards has helped to open my eyes to take responsibility for my actions . The frustration I feel when it comes to my weight is not weight weight I'm so worried about its fat. My health issues are mainly caused by my eating habits and not even incapacitating migraines or the threat of them seem to encourage me to keep it up for good. Will try again tomorrow.......
emoticon Shaz
Share This Post With Others
Member Comments About This Blog Post
    Take it one step at a time. Allow yourself to have a small portion of what you want. I find that if I forbid myself from anything it makes me want it more. Keep a journal of where you are, what time it is, and how you are feeling when you get these cravings. This might allow you to figure out some triggers to them.

    emoticon emoticon
    1953 days ago
    1953 days ago
    I dont have any words of wisdom because your blog sounds like something I'd write. Thanks for sharing and I also liked the comments/suggestions from Maggievan.
    1953 days ago
    1953 days ago
    You will have to abstain from all sugars for a week. It will be hard but that is all it takes to break the slavery to sugar. Once you have done that, you cut out all added salt. By then your tastebuds will be adjusting to a diet of fruit and vegs. I know as I have done it. It is amazing how sweet broccoli now is.

    Anyone can do it if they really care about healthy living. If you don't do it, your body is fighting you every day. Who is the master after all, you or your hormones?
    1954 days ago
    All you can do is try. Remember, it might be better to eat a small serving of a tempting treat than deny anything but lowcal foods. It is also very important to forgive yourself if you slip. Don't berate yourself constantly for 'failure'. That way lies midnight snacking! emoticon
    1954 days ago
  • Add Your Comment to the Blog Post

    Log in to post a comment

    Disclaimer: Weight loss results will vary from person to person. No individual result should be seen as a typical result of following the SparkPeople program.

More Blogs by SHARIE83