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    LUCKYME2G   23,411
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The Reset Button

Friday, November 16, 2012

I've been in a funk for months. Part of it is unrelated to my weight and is related to depression. I've been dealing with that, and I've tried to separate it from my healthy lifestyle but it is interrelated.

And as a result my weight has crept up a little during this funk. Instead of letting it get me down though, I've decided to keep moving forward.

Last night as I was browsing Facebook, I came across some pictures that I was tagged in. The first one is from a couple of years ago at the science museum:

Just looking at the photo makes me feel sad. Sad, and tired. That pretty much sums up my old existence. I remember this trip, and I remember my knees and hips aching just from walking around. I also remember having a stomach ache. Probably from some junk I ate that day. I don't even remember what it was I ate. So it was obviously not worth it.

Then I came upon a couple of pictures from this past summer. The first is from my niece's birthday party:

And the other is a trip to the lake. Here I am holding a different niece:

Both of these are near my lowest weight. I felt happier then. Not only because of the weight, but my depression was under control then and I was actively living my life.

I am going to get back there again. It feels almost as if a reset button has been pushed. I will get the meds adjusted again and fight off the depression. I'm close to that point - I can feel it on the edge of my conciousness.

I am going to stop beating myself up for backtracking and using it as an excuse to slip into bad habits. I'm probably only ~12 lb over what I was in those pictures. But more than the number, I want that feeling again. Where I had energy and I was starting to build up some more confidence.

Today is a new day, I am resetting everything. No more failures to drag me down. No more excuses for bad decisions. From now on I choose to be the person from the second and third pictures.

Member Comments About This Blog Post:
BOBF15 11/24/2012 10:06AM

    Hope this poem posts. I love it. It is called "The Land of Beginning Again"

emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

The Land of Beginning Again

I wish that there were some wonderful place
Called the Land of Beginning Again,
Where all our mistakes and all our heartaches
Could be dropped like a shabby old coat at the door,
And never be on again.

I wish we could come on it all unaware,
Like the hunter who finds a lost trail;
And i wish that the one whom our blindness had done
The greatest injustice of all
Could be at the gates like an old friend that waits
For the comrade he's gladdest to hail.

We would find all the things we intended to do
But forgot, and remembered too late,
Little praises unspoken, little promises broken,
And all of the thousand and one
Little duties neglected that might have perfected
The day for one less fortunate.

It wouldn't be possible not to be kind
In the Land of Beginning Again;
And the ones we misjudged and the ones
whom we grudged
Their moments of victory here
Would find in the grasp of our loving handclasp
More than penitent lips could explain.

For what had been hardest we'd know had been best,
And what had seemed loss would be gain;
For there isn't a sting that will not take wing
When we've faced it and laughed it away;
And i think that the laughter is most what we're after
In the Land of Beginning Again.

So i wisht that there were some wonderful place
Called the Land of Beginning Again,
Where all our mistakes and all our heartaches
And all of our poor selfish grief
Could be dropped like a shabby old coat at the door,
And never be put on again.

Louisa Fletcher

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ANOTHERMOMOF2 11/16/2012 4:19PM

    Good for you! I hope the depression gets under control soon. That's no fun, I know. Hang in there!

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LJCANNON 11/16/2012 12:36PM

    emoticon Awesome!! There is no "Easy" Button, but the 'Reset' Button works just fine!!

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