Friday, November 16, 2012
I have admitted to myself that I have an issue with emotional eating. I am going to say that, instead of saying "I am an emotional eater" because that implies I always emotionally eat, and that isn't true. I do have an ISSUE with it, however. When something that affects deeply emotionally, I eat. And unfortunately it's usually not something healthy.
Last night I had a great concert, audience loved it, I got wonderful compliments. One man in the chorus asked to get my picture, then he called me the name of different singer. I was crushed. This might sound trite, but there are many issues involved with being called this precise singer. One is she is about 150 pounds heavier than me. All of a sudden I doubted my own weight loss, my work... I came back to the hotel and ordered fish and chips. Something I truly NEVER eat. I was hungry, I did need to eat something...but in every way it was a horrible choice. I stay away from deep fried food, because for me it's just not worth the calories, and it gives me horrible reflux. Second issue... I have a 2 pm concert today, and made a choice that compromised that...all based on an emotional reaction to a negative comment!
I hate that I am so sensitive. I can get 100 compliments or good reviews, and I get one bad one, and I am in the dumps... horrified, embarrassed. I try very hard to just give it to God... I work very hard to be as good as I can, but I can't control how people feel.
My goal today is to make better choices. To have a good workout after my concert. And to accept myself and love myself.