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Is loosening up for the upcoming holidays heading me for failure?

Friday, November 16, 2012

Oh my.... How I've been struggling with this for the past few weeks! It all started back around Halloween time... Everyone knows this is a hard time of year to "stay good". Halloween, Thanksgiving, Christmas... It's like a 2 month span of treats just waiting to hop into my mouth! So, I've been so proud of myself this year. I've been working hard, staying consistent... Sure I've had some falls along the way, but this year has been different for me, because I get up and dust myself off and get right back to it again... The last few weeks I really started thinking about what are realistic goals for me to get through the holidays. Losing weight? Weight maintenance? A curbed weight gain? I think about this every day! But, something has been happening lately... My appetite has grown! What seemed second nature just a month ago to say no to, is extremely hard right now. What is happening to me?! I feel the "old me" inside, that strangly familiar girl who shoves it all in without thinking twice. I really don't like her! This is really scaring me because just when I think I'm getting control of my life, this ugly part of myself seems to be rearing up again. So, am I being to easy on myself with the holidays coming up? Seriously, how do I get a handle on this? Baby-steps... Just like when I started... I know that in my head, but why are these cravings so much stronger right now? ARG!!!! I've been telling myself to just keep it up... One day at a time... Log everything... No cheating... But inside, I feel like I'm slipping. I love Thanksgiving and Christmas! I love the huge gatherings, all the delicous food made with so much care and love. I want to be a part of that, but I don't think I know how to be a part of that without going all in... Does that make sense? I need to take a step back, and push myself harder day by day to remember why I'm doing all of this... This is the first year that I can remember, that I've put myself first for once. I really love what I've done for myself (and really for my family too). I cannot go back to the way things were. I felt for so many years to be drowning out of control with food. I didn't like that girl. I don't want to see her ever again. I need to figure out how to co-exist with these holidays. I've been reading all of the SP articles on the subject, and all are good ideas... My head understands what to do, but it's not my head that seems to be running the show right now... Ok, deep breaths... I worry about today only right now... Tomorrow, I worry about tomorrow... etc, etc... That's how I've gotten this far. I guess I just need to remember that. Just venting here. I seem to do better when I get things down in writing. Making myself accountable...
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    I also just got a bit overwhelmed considering how I'm going to handle Thanksgiving next week...a long weekend out of town with 7 hours of travel each way. I got to the point where I just decided to put it out of my mind until I could think it through without getting anxious.
    I have to plan due to the nature of the trip and all, but I don't want to oer think it. I just want to enjoy the time and then once I'm home, my regular food and schedule will be waiting for me. We'll see how it'll all shake out.
    Good luck!
    1924 days ago
    emoticon That is no fun to deal with! Are you stressed? Could you be stress eating? I know when I want to eat everything in sight, especially sweets, that there is something 'behind the scenes' aka my unconscious going on! Hang in there!
    1924 days ago
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