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Over-due for a blog!

Thursday, November 15, 2012

Wow, I've really felt like I NEEDED to blog for the last few days but finally have time to sit and DO it. Man, the last few months have been nuts, I thought after the half marathon things would calm down, but now I feel like it just keeps going. Sorry, I think this is going to be all over the place, but it's where my brain is taking me. :)

Well, first off, I feel much better about my 1st half marathon than I did when I blogged before. I realize that I just had an off day on race day, and that stinks. BUT, instead I can just remember and enjoy the amazing time I did have, not just that day, but all of my training for it the 3 months prior! I definitely will do ANOTHER one next year, I am just not sure when. There are a lot of cool towns near by who do them, I'd like to do somewhere scenic, but also do not want to be training in the months of Dec-March! I also don't want to be running one in the heat of summer though...many good ones are in Sept- I just need to watch out for my sons bday weekend and beginning of school as it's a busy/stressful time as is. Anyway, it was a HUGE accomplishment, and when people say Congrats to me and how they can't even run one mile or they wouldn't run 13 if they were being chased by a bear...I smile and say thank you and try to let that sink in. I may not be the best and fastest runner, I never will be, let's face it, I HATED running when I was younger, that and math, I never wanted to run. But, I tackled it, and I do enjoy it now. It didn't bring me what I thought it would- no more weight lost, nor a single inch. But that's ok. Running is just a challenge for me, and an awesome release. And I know that I need to just sit and pat myself on the back, that I'm doing what I'm doing every time I go out to run, slow or fast. I'm off the couch, I have an new HEALTHY hobby. So that's pretty cool!

Next, the reason I needed to eating has been pretty crappy. I think it started with the fact that I was bummed in my marathon training that I wasn't losing a pound or inches, while those I was running with were. Not that I NEED to do it, I'm at a very healthy weight, average for my BMI, I do have wiggle room. But, who doesn't want to lose a few more inches?? I am at 116 lately, 113 was a better place for me earlier in the year, but IDK what happened with my body if it was just the fact that after over a YEAR of dieting, my body had to "settle" somewhere. If it was because I was no longer cutting calories but eating an average diet....IDK, but some how those 3 little pounds haunt me every time I get on that damn scale! lol

Anyway, Halloween came and went, still have candy here, just gave a bunch away today though. My issue lately is that I have very very little self control these few weeks. When my half was over, I said, ok, I want to lose a few inches, so I added two days in of strength/circuit training- so at least 5 days a week of exercise, some weeks 6 days. (I was doing 3-4 days a week since I was only maintaining weight) Maybe it was the extra working out, I do think I have a tendency to feel like it's ok to splurge more than I really should on those days that I work hard. Maybe I am sabotaging myself or "rewarding" myself for the hard work? But between candy and getting out more where there is always desserts at the playdates we go to with my youngest, and then many occasions to go to lunch or brunch with family and friends...I think I just have to cut it out as I did before. Or do it very rarely. I guess I thought I could go back to more normal circumstances, but I am so small at 5 feet, the calories I'm supposed to take in daily just to MAINTAIN are anywhere (depending where you read) from 1600-1900. That is NOT a lot. I do look ahead at menu's when I can and pick healthy or healthier options. But there are times also I splurge. I'm not sure, but I DO know with the holidays, I am going to have to really take control of myself. For instance, the other day at our playdate my friend made the best cinnamon squares, well, I had one small one, then another small piece. Ok, not terrible, but hey, one should have been enough. THEN, Aiden gets one and takes one bite and says he doesn't want it. Well, you know I ate that one too! :( Normally I was never big on sweets, I'm not sure what it is lately, if I feel like ok, I've been healthy so long it's time to live a little? Or if subconsciously I am feeling deprived after eating so so healthy for so long? I did always have special occasions and splurge days and I had healthier substitutes..I shouldn't feel deprived. I wasn't. Why now I am getting this sweet tooth or this urge to just eat, I'm not sure. I have to be accountable. I am worried soon I'll gain a few pounds, and really, with upping my exercise, I should actually be losing one or two, or at least easily maintaining!!

So, I need to write out as I did the last 2 years my plan of attack for the holidays. I'll come back here in the next few days. I just have to get ahold of myself and remember, that it's not ok. I CAN resist a bite of fries or dessert. I would love to report in January that I didn't gain a single pound this holiday season. I guess that should be my goal. Hell, 2 yrs ago I LOST weight during Nov and even Dec! So, I know I can do it if i put my mind to it. :) Right now I'm thinking after Thanksgiving of trying Dr Oz's detox 3 day cleanse. That will probably be my first step in re-setting my taste buds! Wish me luck.
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    I'm glad you found the better perspective on your emoticon .

    Good luck!
    1948 days ago
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