Thursday, November 15, 2012
I ran yesterday for the first time in a full week - and we all know that not making time for each other is the first sign of trouble in a relationship. I know its no excuse but everything just kept trying to come between us. Scheduling conflicts, my monthly visitor, rain (although i did see people out running who are obviously far more committed than I). But I finally decided yesterday me and running were gonna have some quality time together - just the two of us. But i dont know... the spark just wasn't there for me. I just couldn't get into it. It started going badly right off the bat when some dogs started hurtling for me. I got bit once by a stray dog when i was out walking with my infant son in his stroller so I'm kind of terrified now. And it was a pittbull and a pittbull puppy. Thankfully they weren't aggressive but they were jumping all over me and entirely preventing me from being able to keep going. So i had to knock on the house i suspected they were from to let the lady know she dogs were out and she acted like i was interrupting her Oscar Speech or something. So that made me graumpy cuz it was messing up my time.
And then i dont know... I just wasnt feeling it. My calves were hurting a bit more than usual and it didnt go away like it usually does. I was having more trouble controlling my breathing and i just didnt feel that runner's high or whatever it is that has made me want to keep going out there. So all that was forcing me to go slower and then I even had to stop and walk and i always feel like a failure when that happens. Basically any time when i dont match or beat my time, I get frustrated about it. I'm sure all those issues were partly that i was pushing myself too hard after taking a week off.
It kinda scares me to think i might be falling out of love with running. i dont want to hate exercise! i usually look forward to running days but the last couple weeks even, ive been pretty unenthusiastic - and im just getting started. I just dont feel that energetic in general. Is it the weather? did i burn myself out? Maybe because I wasn't eating that well although im doing better the last couple days.
I hope its just a rough patch. i hope the spark hasnt fizzled out for good. I think maybe we just need to stick together through the tough times and our relationship will just be stronger for it. Right?