Thursday, November 15, 2012
I took my first pregnancy test this week. I can't believe how disappointed I am that its negative. No matter how many times I told myself it was unlikely I would get pregnant in our first month of trying, I still feel down about it.
When I told my husband, I started crying. I didn't even know how down I was about it until I had to tell him and it all just came out. He was great about it and made me laugh. It doesn't seem fair of nature to have us find out that kind of news right when we are most emotionally unstable. (or atleast I am)
I came off the pill this month and this will be my first "real" period in 8 years. I am already annoyed that my weight spiked up 3 pounds, my boobs hurt, and I've been constipated. I've also been spotting for three days but haven't really started my period. And I find all this annoying..... symptom of PMS? probably :)
Well, on to next month. Hopefully if more negatives are in my future I'll be better able to handle them without breaking down every time.
I prayed that God would send us a baby at the right time. I guess this is the part where I have to trust and believe that he will. Even if it takes longer than I want it to.