Thursday, November 15, 2012
A really bad mood plus 2 sleepless nights are making for some very yucky days for me this week. I haven't spoken to the daughter since Tuesday, and don't wish to. Have barely said 3 words to the husband in the past 2 days as well. Of course he is acting as if nothing happened which certainly doesn't help. Learning that he was allowed to not only see our grandson the other day but also take him out to dinner seriously hurt me to no end. Once again my daughter uses my grandson as a form of punishment when she is unhappy with something I have said or done. When my husband returned home he announced that our grandson had asked about me and wanted to know when he would seem me again. He added that he and our daughter didn't give any reason to our grandson as to why I didn't come over. They just left him to wonder where I was as if deciding not to see him was my choice.
I am surprised that I am not hitting up the refrigerator or cabinets in search of my usual emotional release. I wonder if one can become too depressed to eat? And would that necessarily be a bad thing for someone like me? To say that I am not fit for company is an understatement. And to think Thanksgiving is next week. Plans are to take dinner over to the daughter's place on Wednesday to celebrate than attend Disney On Ice with the grandson, husband, daughter and her boyfriend. The thought of sitting down to dinner and later trying to enjoy a show with my husband and daughter is unimaginable right now. But I can't cancel. I promised my grandson. So somehow I need to rid myself of this nasty mood I'm in before next week. I don't want to feel this way in front of the little guy. It wouldn't be fair to him. Guess I have some work to do.