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Shedding guilt

Wednesday, November 14, 2012

I have come to the conclusion that if going to the gym is too stressful, then I should not go for a while... and I shouldn't feel guilty for that decision. As long as I am doing some kind of ST at home, and keeping up with my cardio with walking, running and the bike, then I am doing fine. I need to maintain a low stress environment for my health, so this feels like the right decision. Swimming is on hold until after the New Year, as the pool will be closed.

To celebrate this decision I walked the dog for 2 hours this morning, an hour this afternoon, and 19 minutes this evening. I also walked home from the dinner I went to with my mom. (She wasn't ready to leave, and it was only a 2 mile walk, in a fairly well-lit section of town.) I also did 2 ST videos here on SP. I get plenty of exercise! That was almost 13 miles worth of walking today, and I didn't count the mile I walked to the library and back this afternoon. Wow, I guess it was a busy day. It didn't feel like it at the time.

The dinner I went to with my mom was a locavore potluck. I did pretty good at selecting small portions of healthy food off the buffet. It helps that it was heavy on the fruits and veggies and lean meats. Someone brought goat stew, but it was all gone by the time I got to the line. There was all sorts of luscious locally grown (or raised) food there, even local grape juice and apple cider. Mom and I took baked acorn squash with apples. The dinner was very well attended. In fact I left shortly after eating as it was getting too crowded and noisy for my comfort. My mom is much more gregarious than I am, and hadn't even made it to the serving line by the time I left. She was too busy talking. She has some mobility issues, so I offered to get her a plate of food before I left, but all she wanted was a glass of spiced cider. So, I got that for her then took off.

Cooper walked about 10 miles of today's mileage with me today. I think tomorrow I will take pity on him and do short walks. At least it was sunny today, even if it was still quite chilly. It is supposed to be sunny for the next week or so. I am hoping the sunshine will help clear the last of the melancholies away. I don't know why but the gray days are having a much bigger impact on me this year compared to last winter. My fat must have been protecting me!

I was taking a shower today, and realized that I am no longer fat! I don't usually look at myself when I am naked... it was too painful for a long time. But today I looked. I have loose skin, that may or may not go away over time, but I would no longer classify myself as fat. Not that I am "slender" yet, but I am getting there! So, not only am I shedding guilt today, but also old notions of how I perceive myself. It feels pretty good.
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    You definately should not feel stressed about the gym with all the exercise you have been getting. emoticon
    1829 days ago
    This blog makes me happy. Yeah you! No guilt. Better self-image. Sounds like a banner day!
    1829 days ago

    You had a great day. You walked so far!!! I wish I could too. It must feel wonderful to see a new you! Many people, who lose weight, are unable to see the change in themselves. It means that you have a healthy view of how you look now. That is wonderful. Keep walking and ST training . As far as the gym, I feel you made the best decision for you and I am glad it feels right!

    1829 days ago
    Awesome day! Wonderful workouts! And Beautiful realization! I'm so proud of you.
    1830 days ago
    1830 days ago
    That is a great affirmation that you can now claim. Letting go of your former image of yourself. Congratulations. I think that is great!!! emoticon
    1830 days ago
    Glad you're letting go of the guilt. This time of year is hard enough without adding self-imposed guilt on top of it. :-) I'm also having a hard time with the change in the seasons. I love the bright, sunny warm days of summer because they energize me. These gray, cold, dark days sap all of my energy and I just want to curl up and sleep until spring. I really miss seeing daylight - my only glimpses tend to be through a window at work these days. Sigh.
    1830 days ago
    I'm glad you aren't going to the gym for now since you're not comfortable with it.

    Maybe Cooper needs some doggie boots. They are really cute and in summer they would be ideal duto heat on the cement. (I wonder if that bothers dogs). I saw them online and they cover the dogs feet in all types of weather. I wonder if Cooper would like walking in the rain better if he had boots on? LOL!
    1830 days ago
    You made the right decision and you certainly are getting a lot of exercise.

    SADS - I have full spectrum lights in my kitchen to get wide awake and feel more energized in winter. There are available at Home Depot, etc.

    R>Congratulations on looking and feeling slimmer. You did it!
    1830 days ago
    Glad you have made a decision regarding the gym that you are comfortable with. The less stress the better.

    Did yard work today in the front yard. Got all the bushes trimmed and blew all the leaves and used the mower to gather them up in the mower bag. It looks fantastic. Still more leaves to come down, so won't look like that for long. But at least the bushes are all trimmed and neat looking.

    Even went for a nice walk with Jim when he got home. Am pooped now.
    1830 days ago
  • RG_DFW
    Even with the seasonal blahs, you've managed to find the silver lining... way to go!
    1830 days ago
    What an inspiring blog. I just got out of the shower and I dared glance at the HUGE mirror in the bathroom before I jumped in the shower and I am amazed at some of the changes. I still have a long way to go, but being as I have not "dieted" this weight loss is amazing to me every day.

    Usually I would have taken some pills or some shots from the doc or something else to help me lose weight, but I have only once or twice tried to lose weight without a "diet aid". This time it is working and I think it's because it is life or death for me. I was already on my way to death, so now I am trying to live a little better before I get there!

    Conrgatulations on the loose skin and the no longer fat you! You have ATTACKED THE FAT and won!
    1830 days ago
    Glad you decided you don't need the stress of the gym and DON"T feel guilty. It isn't for everyone. Your walking and exercises have done wonders for you, so I'd stick with what works. You are an example to us all.
    emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon
    1830 days ago

    Comment edited on: 11/14/2012 9:00:37 PM
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