Regular sparkfriends will be relieved to know that this evening I bought some walking boots.
I bought them online, so I haven't got them yet.
Listen, anticipation is all. I'm going to enjoy that edge-of-the-seat feeling till they arrive in about four days' time.
So, what internationally famous brand of hiking boots did I buy?
(Pause while everyone in the States looks blank, everyone in the Caribbean nods approvingly and everyone in the UK rolls about in hysterics.)
If the Brits have QUITE finished, I will explain.
Last week I actually bought a pair of hiking boots. I look them home and had a crisis of conscience. They had cost £125, which would have made them the second most expensive footwear I'd ever bought (my red shoes were £145 but that's red shoes for you). I took the hiking boots back to the shop next day. Shops that sell hiking boots are quite used to this sort of thing because people take them home and wear them around the house for an evening to see how they feel.
They were nice-looking boots and a big name boot brand. But I thought realistically, what sort of hiking am I doing? I'm doing the sort of hiking an obese middle-aged woman does, in other words I'm not running up three peaks in a day, nor am I getting into parkour. I will never walk more than 20 miles in a day, and I'm only up to about 10 at the moment. I voted with my feet and the boots went back.
So . . . this morning I went online and had a nosey round. I know my level, I know my pocket, I had a look at the Clarks website. Clarks is an interesting phenomenon. Until a few years back it was the sort of shop where your grandma bought crossover sandals to hide her bunions, hence the hilarity from the Brits.
Then this song came out:
And suddenly they're hip.
To be fair Clarks have got loads of nice shoes in now.
But, but, Clarks is not the sort of shop you'd normally buy hiking boots in. It is popular with me because I am broke and it is cheap and I know my place. What's more, I ordered my boots online and got 20 per cent off too. Instead of paying £125 for a big name brand, I'm paying £71 for boots that will do what I need.
I'm on my toes in anticipation.
And I've saved £54 whole quid to spend on a sports bra and smaller trousers.