So, yesterday had all the appointments. The dreaded follow up from the nightmare visit with the man who wanted to put me on the birth defect making, seizure causing crazy med. After coming off the dreaded blood pressure medicine that my doctor 10 days ago acknowledged was a possible cause of stagnancy in weight loss, I have since lost 2 pounds! Yippee!!!
My blood pressure was pretty high all day yesterday, at a whopping 135/94 at the doc office, but they said that since I was putting up with a terrible migraine, it was probably pain response and that I could safely stay off the med. However, as usual, my PCP was not attentive in listening with a "hmmm..." here and an "uh huh" there. And, wouldn't you know it folks....after I told him that I was on sparkpeople and trying to lose weight, and being healthy with my eating, and exercising, he still had the nerve to comment about my weight, and how I should try loseit.com (mind you he has mentioned this website 4,396 times before). OK!!! I GOT IT!!! I NEED TO LOSE WEIGHT!!! THANKS FOR MAKING ME FEEL LIKE A FAT LOSER EVERYTIME I WALK IN YOUR OFFICE!!!
I do have to say the ortho appointment went extremely well, and I feel like this doctor really has my best interest at heart. He validated what I said, says he believes me that I have pain in my feet, and says that we will take the process of discovering this 13 year issue slowly. When I expressed to him my frustrations with not being able to exercise to help propel my weight loss to the next level because of pain, he prescribed me physical therapy through use of an underwater treadmill. He said that this should help me lose the weight more quickly without causing me pain. He also ordered bloodwork and a dietician consult. He says that we are going to start our exploration into the problem conservatively (nutrient/vitamin deficiencies), do the PT, and then move from there. I'm so thankful Lori told me about this doc! He is a good listener, sympathetic, and understanding.
I finally feel some brightness in the dark tunnel of chronic pain which has defined me for so long!
As for the other doc, I think I'm finished. Everytime I leave his office, I feel like such a pathetic idiot and I feel like I don't have any solutions! In all the documentation yesterday, I actually saw the word "obese." I felt atrocious! Needless to say, I sobbed and sobbed last night on my husband's shoulder. I couldn't sleep, because that word kept flashing by in my mind, written exactly as I saw it in the documentation: ((((OBESE))))
But, I'm just going to move forward and not let it define me. I know I need to lose weight and that is what I'm trying to do. It just feels hopeless sometimes.
And it sure doesn't help to have the very doctor who gave me a med to keep the weight on remind me constantly how fat I am. Anyway, I'm going to
On a brighter note, I have the most adorable picture to share with you. It brightens me up so much and I hope it will do so for you too! My little dog, Pete gets super cold in the winter. Probably because at 11 pounds, who CAN sustain body heat?! Anyway, he's a little dapple dachschund/chihuahua mix and one of the brightest lights of my life! We took him and Parker, our King Charles Cavalier Spaniel for a walk the other night. Pete has a coat to wear for walks and he looks super cute sporting that thing. I was going to snap his picture in that but while I was logging my fitness minutes on Spark, my hubby slipped on Pete's snuggie and took off the little coat. He snuck up beside me in his snuggie and I got this picture:
Isn't that cute?! Hope it brings a smile to your face!