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I need a self-PUSH today!

Wednesday, November 14, 2012

****Thank you to everyone who has supported me along the way! I am now a Spark Motivator! Thank you!!!!!!!!! This website helps me so much. Hopefully I can help some of you too. Let me know if you need any support or help. A little goes a long way, and I am willing to help!****

When I woke up this morning, I felt a bit different. I realize I definitely need a self-push today. What is a self-push? I have no idea! I just feel like I need one to continue my life journey in the right direction. Life is crazy. Even when my day seems to be going smoothly - I try to remind myself to be prepared for anything!

My daily life is so different now. I barely get food cravings anymore (which is helpful). Unfortunately, I also don't have the urge to decide what to eat most of the time. When I go out to a restaurant, I can basically go anywhere and find something to eat. I may not be satisfied with what I order if I just get a plain house salad with no croutons & no cheese... but at least I will be happy I didn't go over calories by giving in to the craving of a cheeseburger or pizza. Sometimes I still wish my stomach would tolerate very fatty foods - I wouldn't mind going over calories if it filled my belly! Instead of worrying about going over on the tracker, I worry about going under. If I just have a salad as a meal, I usually am under my calories for the day. Even though my low end of my tracker range is at 1350 calories, sometimes after I enter my dinner I may only be at 1,000 or 1,100 for the day! I do like snacking, but I hate eating JUST to make sure I ate enough for the day. We all have our own challenges. We need to face them in our own way no matter how big or small they may be!

I need a self-push to figure out how to change my eating habits. I bring my own snacks with me everywhere I go. I can't keep putting off how to make eating easier for me!

Besides eating better, I also need a self-push in my personal life today. For as long as I can remember, I have been a nice person. Throughout my life, I have randomly gotten compliments on how patient, understanding, and thoughtful I can be. Knowing I am caring has been good & bad. Instead of making myself happy, I would always give 150% to other people to try and make their life easier. Sadly, I was upset with how my life was going. Instead of focusing on the blessings of my life, I would only see the downside of everything.

After re-discovering myself with Spark's help, I realize I need to do more for me. I broke up with my ex- fiancÚ in June for many reasons. He still wants to try and fix the relationship. I have tried explaining to him that I can't get back together with him right now. He mentioned being friends until I figured out what I wanted to do. Every time I see his negativity in a text or hear it in his voice, my whole mood changes drastically. I feel weak, awful, alone, and so upset. I feel bad because I know he is upset. I hate hurting him. However, I need to stop being pulled back into the dark funk.

I need a self-push today to tell him how it really is & how it is has to be. I can't keep letting him feel upset because of me. He has told me he wants me to be happy, and if I will be happier without him, he will understand. He needs to live his own life and move on. (If he reads this before I get to talk to him today - sorry!)

There are many situations people I don't want to be in. At times, I get anxious, nervous, and scared to face reality! But I know I *Need* to take this leap and figure out my life! Sometimes our lives fall off the path we thought we were destined to be on. I know I need to always be ready to set new goals for myself. I want to help others, but I also need to keep myself in mind. I need to keep smiling with the greatness in my life! Negativity changes my whole mood too much.

I need a self-push to keep moving forward!!!!!

I hope everyone has a great rest of the week. If there is something you are putting off, hopefully you can give yourself a self-push soon too and keep moving forward! Keep Sparking & keep reaching for your goals!

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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    You make a wonderful motivator! I feel like doing a 5k too! but lots of dreaming first but...never say never!!! emoticon emoticon
    1431 days ago
    Congrats on being a Spark People motivator you have being working so hard. emoticon
    1436 days ago
    Congratulations on becoming a SP Motivator. You are a good one. I have enjoyed the posts you have left on my SparkPage. Don't let it become an added pressure on you to be a giver. Only do as much as you feel comfortable with. That may sound weird, but put it in the back of your mind. You may need it sometime.
    1436 days ago
    Congrats on realizing the ex-fiancee is no good for you! Some people don't figure it out till they're married, having kids, and feel trapped and locked in. You're doing what's right for YOU and never ever feel bad or apologize for that. You're not hurting him, he's choosing not to accept your feelings and your directives to him that you can't be with him anymore. He's trying to inflict HIS feelings on YOU.

    He's what Captain Awkward ( calls a "Darth Vader" boyfriend, because they can just suck the life and air right out of you with just a look, a glare, a text message.

    I'm sure he has good parts, don't get me wrong, and if he does some good work on himself, he'll be a great boyfriend/fiancee/husband for someone else, but you need to be true to YOU!
    1436 days ago
    emoticon emoticon on becoming a SP Motivator. I hope you realize you have been a motivator long before this official recognition. Really! I know from personal experience. You have been SP friend who inspires me regularly KIMPY.

    emoticon emoticon on a well written inspirational blog. Thank you for being so open about your personal journey. You are going through a wonderful metamorphous as you learn, modify and change you life. You have identified some critical areas in life where you have made changes for you. I am so glad for you. (I can truly relate to the one about trying to please others at a cost to yourself.)

    emoticon emoticon on becoming such a positive person. It is so easy to get pulled down by negative people in our lives. And sometimes even easier to get pulled back into those old habits when we are around people who have been in our lives for a long time and with whom we have developed those habits. As some of those old relationships fade away there will be healthier ones coming down the road. I am enjoying the support and friendship in several healthy relationships after having to let go of some long but negative relationships.

    You have a truly tremendous Thursday. Take care of you and you only have more to share with others.

    1436 days ago
    I am so happy you are officially a SP Motivator! You have always been a motivator for me, though! Even when you get in an occassional funk, you are always looking for the positive way to fix things, and I admire that!

    Sometimes it's really hard for me to push myself, but I agree that sometimes we just really need to do it. You are so upbeat, though, I have no doubt you'll manage to work through the things that are bugging you in no time!

    I think it takes a lot of courage to take a stand for yourself in that type of relationship situation, and I think you are doing great :)
    1436 days ago
    Congratulation on becoming a SP Motivator and keep up the great work pushing yourself. I think you are awesome.
    1436 days ago
    Yes we all have those days of a self-push. You are doing great. Hope everything is better today.
    1436 days ago
    Stay away from toxic people...don't let them steal your time or energy. If you feel worse for being around them...then cut the ties. I am so impressed with you! Keep Sparkin'!!
    1436 days ago
  • BISCO_
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    1436 days ago

    hehe - I think we all need a self-push. What I love about this post though is that you're specifically identifying areas in which you need the push. It's much better than just floating hoping things will right themselves along the say. And as uncomfortable/painful/horrible/diff
    icult it may be to make some of those changes (i.e. forcing a complete break with your ex-fiance), you're already aware that you need to do it (for you, for him). It's just pressing the button. Wouldn't it be nice to have an "Easy" button? It's hard, but I see how much you've accomplished during the past year and I know you'll be able to press the button when you're ready.


    1437 days ago
    emoticon and so well deserved!
    1437 days ago
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    1437 days ago
    emoticon on being a motivator! That takes alot of yourself to help others and others will appreciate you so much like I appreciate all the time you've taken to write this from your heart! I commend you for breaking up your realtionship. Anytime we're in a relationship with alot of negativity, the best move is to do what it takes to remove it and that's exactly what you're doing. usually is someone is negative, they just get worse and you certainly wouldn't want to live a life with someone like that! You'll end up being more healthy mentally because of making the move to remove what you've figured out to remove. You need to zero in on yourself more now like you are always helping others. I really do appreciate you! You can push forward because you know how and go back to the beginning and remind yourself of why you wanted to get more healthy to begin with. emoticon emoticon emoticon I feel the same as you, that it's alot easier to eat out than at home. It's so hard for me to know what to cook anymore! Errrr is what I say! But, we also that we have so much help right here in that dept. with everybody else in our same shoes and all the recipes, etc. emoticon emoticon
    1437 days ago
    Congratulations!! You motivate me! I think you are so brave to call off your wedding so close to the time. Do you realize how many women would've gone thru with it and lived a false life and been so unhappy? I always remind clients about flying on airplanes.... They tell you if the oxygen mask falls down to place it over your nose and mouth first and then assist others. Do you understand why they tell us that? As for eating.... What about a little cheese on the salad or some grilled chicken? You can't live on lettuce alone! How about a grilled chicken sandwich with the top bun removed? Just a few things I've been doing. As a diabetic I have to eat. Stay strong my friend! Only you know what is right for you with food, with men, with life!
    1437 days ago
    That is so awesome that you are now a sparks motivator! emoticon
    You have done so well on your weight loss!
    1437 days ago
    Congrats on becoming Spark motivator !! And thank you for motivating us, Spark community.
    You are so awesome. Way to go !! And keep a good work.

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    1437 days ago
    Congratulations! You are doing great and are obviously headed in the right direction. Trust your gut instinct.
    1437 days ago
    emoticon emoticon you are doing so awesome
    1437 days ago
    First, congrats on being a motivator! Self-push is necessary at times for sure, but not always easy. Letting go of those that pull you into a negative vortex may not be easy either, but vital for self-preservation. And really, life's too short to be around all that negativity. Hang in there girly. Onward and upward! =D
    1437 days ago
    Beautifully written!!

    Pushing ourselves sometimes is needed. And as you said not just with exercising and eating right. It can happen in all aspects of our lives.

    You need to be happy and healthy before you can help others, so be sure to take care of yourself and do what you need to do to make sure you are where you need to be. emoticon
    1437 days ago
    Good for you for putting yourself first. I wish I had listened to that inner voice long before I did. I left my husband of 12 yrs about 2 yrs ago because of that same inner voice. It was such a difficult decision to make, but I figured out that he was never going to change. I still remember being so nervous just minutes before my wedding, thinking that I was making a mistake. He still wants me back, but I know that it would never work, because I already spent so much energy and so many years trying to make it work.

    Hang in there...and go with your gut. This was a lesson I had to learn the hard way.
    1437 days ago
    This quote was taken from someone else's blog that I read earlier today. I think it's appropriate for you:

    "When we force ourselves to connect against our heart's desires, we create false, resentful relationships; when we disconnect from the people who deplete us, we set them free to find their tribes while we find ours."
    1437 days ago
    1437 days ago
  • LYNSEY723
    I am so happy that you have come so far in your life - emotionally and physically!! Do whatever is right for you. This is your life and YOU need to be happy! Do whatever you need to do to PUSH yourself in the direction you need to be pushed! You can do it!
    1437 days ago
  • LYNSEY723
    I am so happy that you have come so far in your life - emotionally and physically!! Do whatever is right for you. This is your life and YOU need to be happy! Do whatever you need to do to PUSH yourself in the direction you need to be pushed! You can do it!
    1437 days ago
    Yes, a self-push is always good. Identifying feelings in your life with negative impact, is a fantastic push in the right direction. Great job on recognizing that! Congratulations on being a motivator. Awesome job.
    1437 days ago
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