The path through the jungle...and some signs of light ahead
Wednesday, November 14, 2012
It feels like I've been back in survival mode for a long time and I want to be past it. There is a lot of progress in some things happening, and I need a serious attitude adjustment, here, so that I can get out of my own way.
So, first, the positives:
1. Last weekend we had an amazing crew of people from church who came for the day on Sat to help us reclaim the house. It was amazing. I so love these people. At the end of the day (and some finishing up yesterday,) we have a new working motion sensor light over the driveway, and another one for the back yard, a new fan and ceiling light in the kitchen, 3 bathroom sinks and the kitchen sink all have new plumbing.m We have a new ramp into the shed and rebuilt/working doors on the shed. Our grass has been mowed, hopefully for the last time this year, the walls have been spackled and holes have been filled, we have screens again on the back windows and sun room, the patio is swept and edged, the painting in the kitchen is finished after 5 years of being half done. What a tremendous gift of love, to help us in reclaiming our house.
There are no words.
2. Work has been stressful with electronic record problems, but we start a new system tomorrow, that appears to be much better...after the usual start up stress. Our referrals have picked up with fall setting in, which is also good.
3. Jori is finally on a medication combo that is working. Another gift. She has been able to take on more responsibility and take action to get things done. Still with cuing from me, but she is doing it! Our house is becoming more useable, there is more space and less clutter. She might be able to even start looking for work after the new year, which would SOOOOOO ease things for me.
4. We have picked out paint for Dakota's new girly room and have prettied up and girlified her bathroom. She picked purple for the walls and wants big pink hearts painted randomly around the room. I can do that. New purple and pink flowered comforter and some curtains and she is good to go! I'm looking for a swinging chair to put up in her room to help with her sensory stuff.
5. I'm on better meds that I think are working better, too. Won't know for sure until more stress is eased.
6. We had friends over to play games and have dinner for the first time in years. (And we made 2 amazing soups from spark recipes, so there was no guilt!
7. My best friend, Iris, and I have the day together on Sat to talk ourselves to death and ponder life. And, she and her family are coming back in Dec to go to the Messiah sing along with us. It's a huge deal, orchestra, hundreds of people singing and soloists to do those parts. The audience is the choir. We haven't sung the Messiah together since we were in college together.
So, lots of good things happening and I need to know they are happening, FEEL them happening, SEE the progress, work on BEING in the moment and being appreciative instead of focusing on what's not right.
Minimizing the focus on the negatives, but acknowledging them and knowing I need to be taking action:
1. My weight has gone up 10 lbs +. I need to get back on track...did order lunch from list of 550 calories or less from Applebee's today.
2. Dakota having significant behavior problems in school and home, but she is in counseling and on meds.
3. Having to spend some of Dad's money, which I vowed not to do because I need it for retirement.
4. Physical health has been terrible and LOTS of pain and use of wheelchair, etc.
More later, time ran out.