Wednesday, November 14, 2012
The last few weeks have been pretty stagnant for me diet-wise. I haven't been eating all that well and exercise has been out of the question with everything else I have going on. It has been a crazy few weeks at work and at home. That being said, as of yesterday, I had gone up 1 lb from my lowest, which isn't really that bad when you think about it. I'm working right now on drinking my water and not drinking soda. When I do break down and have soda, it's always diet because when I drink soda I tend to drink too much and go over my calories. So, diet soda it is on that occasions that call for a soda.
Meals today have been good and I'm starting to feel my motivation going back up. I'm on vacation next week and even though (and partially because) it's Thanksgiving week I'm going to make it a point to get to the gym at least 3 times. Shout out to Daphasaurus (I hope I spelled that right) who turned me on (via plenty of shout-outs in her blog) to Half-size me podcasts. I listened to one of those all day yesterday while I was in the car driving to and from home visits. I would love to find a way that I can save them on my phone because I keep losing my progress every time I exit out of them. It's just so motivating to hear the interviews of people who has lost so much weight, their experiences with what tripped them up, etc. I've definitely learned that I'm someone who needs almost constant reminders that losing significant amounts of weight is not impossible; people do it and I love hearing stories of people who have because it gives me hope.
I'm in the process of setting up a little work-out area in my basement with a television and dvd player. I'm thinking of having the hubby move the wii down there as well so I can use my wii fit without monopolizing the living room, but then it won't be there to play when we want to play it with friends, so I'm not sure about that yet. I'm going to bring it up to hubby and see what his reaction is. He's been so supportive and it's wonderful knowing that he wants me to succeed because he knows it's what I WANT, not because it really worries him at all what my weight is. I'm excited, though because I think having the work-out room in the basement will give me the freedom to work out whenever I want without the guilt of worrying about if hubby wants to watch TV. To be fair, the whole concept started out as him making a "film room" in the basement for himself (he's a football coach and wants to spend hours analyzing every play) and I kind of attached my work-out room idea to it, but the same requirements are there (a tv and dvd player) so it was no problem to make it multi-purpose.
I've been thinking lately and hearing some people talking about binge eating has made me think it may be an issue I have. At first I thought it definitely wasn't because I've never eaten a whole pack of hot dogs or an entire carton of ice cream in one sitting. However, I have eaten an entire bag of chips or carton (?) of Pringles in one sitting and that's the same thing. So right now I think I'm going to start paying careful attention to my portions and making sure that they are appropriate.
I had a small meltdown the other day when hubby informed me that a couple whom we are acquaintances with is expecting a baby. It hit hard for a few reasons. Here they are and feel free to judge me (because I'm basically judging them):
1) last week (or maybe the week before) he told me that they had broken up and she had left him. Now she's pregnant and back with him!? How is it fair that they can have a baby when a couple like me and hubby, who are stable and completely committed can't?
2) She is just as heavy as I am and (without getting too deep into their business) they both partake in some habits which are less than family friendly. Whereas my husband and I (though we're not perfect) make it our business to be mature and make good decisions, they seem to make it their business to have drama all around them.
In summary, I just think it sucks and I was down for a few days. I'm still a little bothered by it, but I am trying to be happy for them and hopeful that they will have a wonderful happy family. I'm also trying to just focus on me and what I need to do so that I can be in their position. PCOS sucks!