Tuesday, November 13, 2012
I have had ENOUGH. I was in tears...and not special thanks to dh consoling me.
I have had two drs in 7 days in more than enough words make me feel like I am a bad mom. That it is MY FAULT my dd1 was and is still sick.
It is my fault she got bronchitis (sp) because dh and I decided NOT to use tamaflu when she got the flu. It makes her physically sicker than the flu itself. She had the flu twice last year and fought it fine with rest. This time she got bronchitis after the flu. She is on a strong rx and is better, but still has bronchitis and has a YEAST INFECTIONS. Which is MY FAULT because I did not give her ENOUGH probiotics. She was getting physically sick and puking her rx....I had to eliminate things to find out what it was....I lowered her probiotics and mucinex and then took the mucinex away, but I forgot...because I have nothing else in the world to do... to increase her probiotics. Now she has to deal with a yeast infection.
The dr wrote the rx wrong and does not have the...sorry getting crude here....BALLS to call the pharmacists and fix the issue. I had to do OTC ministrant 3 but I refuse to use the vaginal stuff at her age. I called my sister who has had this issue with my niece and I am only using get outer stuff and increasing dd1 probiotics to the max I can give her. My next step is going out to by plain Greek yogurt to put "down there" if the cream causes her pain. I just touched the area and she flew off the bed. I felt soooo bad. But she does not "look" red or sore....just "normal" to me...she needs to do a better job washing is all I saw.
Now, Walmart.com is messing up our order for the kids. Dh wanted to surprise the kids 3wks ago with a swing set thanks to his unexpected raise and promotion he received a few months ago. Well one of three boxes never made it to the store. It was reordered and "rushed" out to the store. It was avail to pick up, but they will not release it in the "system" to the store to give to us. they had it in the store 7 dys ago, but now it is not. They have no idea where it is....I am going to scream!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I want my kids SURPRISE!!!!
Then my niece is really sick with her blood pressure and had to go off all her rx. She was on a lot: heartburn med, ADHD, asthma, night time med, stuff....anywho, her bp is still high and she is being really bad with my sister her never really learned who to handle or help her. My sister's solution was to up the meds dr please up the meds. My mom who is not super internet savvy asked me to help with research. I did my best and found out lots of stuff. Stuff my sister knows but DOES NOT PRACTICE. Now I am not a great mom I have been told that by to drs.
I will be first to admit I lack in some areas in discipline. I have a hard time to stop what I am doing with the one or two kids who are being good to direct my attention to the one misbehaving. Most times the child is bad because he or she is not the "center" at the given moment. HELLO YOU THREE KIDS, YES 3 AGAINST 1 NOT GREAT ODDS IN MY FAVOR. So, I have to let things slide. Not all things but the not so bad stuff. However, if I or dh ever acted in the manner the one child of ours does or did we would poster kids for abuse.
OH!!!!!!!!!!!!!! My dd1 STILL has bronchitis, I know I said that earlier. So once she is done with rx 1 she has to start rx 2!!!!!!!!!!!!! The poor girl is so tired of rx and drs she will NEVER trust me again. And how do I know she is still ill. I took her and ds to the dr today because they both were complaining about ear discomfort. They have no infection PRAISE GOD, but the dr could still here "junk" in her left lung. My ds is fine just needs a saline nasal spray twice a day to keep things moving. Great and easy. Dd1 needs the saline spray was well and another dose of rx.
I feel so bad for her. I am going to make it and order a few games for the ipad she has been asking for. I got her a new Junie B. Jones book, but we had it so I am going to return it and get one we do not have, but because.
I am sorry for venting, but I have no one. Dh just tells me no more going to our back up drs. I need to find a new ped that is closer for us. I have tried really hard not to change peds for 5yrs. She is great and I love her and her staff. I know it is hard to find people you love how love your kids as much. Who are honest and caring, but I can no longer travel 55minutes from home if I-4 is kind to see her, lately, once a week to twice a week with a different kid. I know she understands. I will find a new ped by Friday morning ENOUGH with the loyalty it is my kids health.
I only pray I pick a ped as great as the one I have had for 9.5yrs.
I wish I could vent to my mom or mil, but they have sooo many other problems and my mom is trying to help with my niece....dh has no emotions and just tells me they are crap drs and I have been doing my best and not to listen to them. He thought I have been over reacting with the kids healthy and is happy I took them when I did and got the help when I needed it feels I have NOT done anything wrong things happen. He feels bad his little girl has to deal with the most uncomfortable thing a girl has to deal with in life short of the discomfort from from ripping while giving birth...we do not need to go there.
OH!!!!!!!!!!! Then dd1 got a quick look when we use the bathrooms after the drs office. I told her turn around but she is a kid and saw I had hair "down there"....she was wondering if she will have hair there too one day. I did not lie and said yes but you will get hair under your arm first. I showed her my stubble and she that it was gross. I said to me it is too but each girl or woman has their own opinions and we respect her wishes for shaving or not shaving. She was cool about it and it calmed her down after she pain from the rx I had to put "down there".
Okay I feel better and no longer want to eat out of emotions must want a soy smoothie before bed.
Thank you for getting to the bottom. If you want to judge me go for it there is nothing any one can say to make me feel worse than I did after the drs office today.
OH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! would be believe as of 630pm the dr NEVER called my pharmacist back about the rx. I think I said that earlier. In 6hrs the dr could not take the 5min it would take to call and talk and maybe resend the order to get filled before closing time 7pm.
I love you all and now I am going to get a soy smoothie and just sit in silence and hope tomorrow walmart will have my swing issue solved.
PS ~ I am so ready to take my kids out of public school to prevent them from being sick like they have been this year. I mean almost TWO MONTHS!!! I know we will through this but Dear Lord I am almost broken again. I know homeschool is not an option at this time. My mom said it is part of having three kids in school they will bring home all kinds of stuff and now I am three times as likely to have viruses in the house.