Tuesday, November 13, 2012
and we get up again! Never gonna keep me down! So, last night was a fall down. And today I got back up again. Last night, I went into a full-blown binge that left me absolutely hurting. I thought my stomach was going to explode. I don't understand it, in looking back. Why would anyone do that? I don't know. I just get started and it does not end. In running the numbers, I think I was a 10 on a scale of 1-10 on my binge alert monitor. Too bad I did not use it...thinking I could handle a "little something." Yep, wrong. Very wrong. So, I just really need to watch it. I need to use my spreadsheet and see how I am truly feeling before eating and correct things before eating if I'm in the danger zone. Seems extreme...but honestly, extreme was where I ended up last night. Really don't want to go there again.
Today, I have had NO desire for food. I was recovering physically all day. I had a banana for breakfast that I didn't really want. I had a soft pretzel for lunch while shopping...hoping the bread would kind of settle my stomach. For supper, I had the veggie soup that DH fixed. I ended up under for my calories for the day but figure that is probably good today...give my poor digestive system a chance to catch up.
I got a new Wii game today...the Abba Dance game. I played it tonight. Pretty fun. I wanted to do "just one more" after doing each one...so that's a good sign.
I've been reading my past blogs each day. Whatever day of the month it is, I go to that page of my past blogs and read all the entries there. It has been helping me as I am working to get on track and stay on track...and I have been trying really hard not to be discouraged by the fact that I am not where I was before. It helps to read about how happy I was in achieving different milestones which were heavier than I am now. I think the one aha I got today as I was thinking about my journey and my success/lack-of-current-succes
s was...my life has changed so much in the past year. I can see that as I read my past entries. I've changed jobs. My income has changed. My car has changed. My co-workers have changed. DD is now living with us. DS is now living in Colorado. I now have a granddaughter and another on the way. I no longer have a Y membership. It's a lot of changes...that have come on...one by one over the past several months. So, my journey at this time, is not the same as my journey at that time. I just need to evolve in my journey to match where I am now so that this can continue to work. So, that's my aha. I know I can do this. I just need to find what works now...where I am...with what I have...with who I now have in my life.
I'll find it. I won't give up. Hope you all are having a good week. Keep up the good work! Thanks for the encouragement! Spark on!