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    NOTLIKEMCLOVIN   6,202
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Hipster doofus.

Tuesday, November 13, 2012

I think that for every person who loses a significant amount of weight, there comes a time when you see the first dividends that really mean something. For me, I think that time came this weekend in the form of Old Navy.

Now I’ve always given Old Navy kind of a bad rap, and I think that it’s because it really was entirely useless to me up until a couple of weeks ago. I couldn’t wear any of their clothes, and trust me, having to go into a store where literally nothing is of any use to you really sucks. But a couple of weeks ago, I found that I fit into a pair of 42-inch jeans. Not only that, they cost $22! Were you aware, dear reader, that there are places you can buy jeans for $22? If so, then you likely inhabit the world of the normal-sized. At the time, though, I tried on some shirts and it just wasn’t happening, so I took the small victory of cheap pants and was on my way.

This weekend, I returned with a vengeance. I not only found several shirts, a couple of sweaters, and an awesome wool coat, and somehow spent less than $100. What is happening?! I’ve discovered a couple of things about myself: One, I really like dressing nicely. Two, I’m a little bit of a hipster. Wool coats? V-neck sweaters? However, I think I’ll be all right, so long as I keep the V-necks shallow, and always ALWAYS wear a shirt underneath. Also, I have to keep the beard off now, but that’s fine. I happen to think I look much better without it.

I’ve spent much of my life dressing like a slob. This wasn’t entirely intentional; I also spent much of my life having my wardrobe determined by what fit me. Check that, by what covered me. At 440 pounds, there’s really not a lot that “fits” in the traditional sense of the word. I’ve spent almost no time looking sharp, and now I want to make up for that. Not only that, I’ve only scratched the surface. Old Navy is relatively welcoming to larger people. I’m 301 pounds. When I’m small enough to shop at places like the Gap? I would absolutely love for my identifier to go from being “the fat guy” to being “the well-dressed guy”. And it’s only going to get easier.

I suppose I should do some reflecting this week. I’m very likely to get under 300 pounds in the next few days and it really is a huge milestone. So what do I know about myself now? Well first, one of the most notable things anyone has said to me is that I look “like a normal-sized person” now. It’s true; there are plenty of men walking around at 6’3” and in the neighborhood of 300 pounds. It’s overweight, to be sure, but when I was 440 pounds, it wouldn’t matter what I did, people saw that big fat guy. Really, I wouldn’t mind being skinny some day, but being normal is a huge deal.

Another thing that I’ve noticed is that, despite writing a blog about losing weight, I really don’t like talking about it to people face-to-face. People that haven’t seen me in a while don’t recognize me, and they ask me what’s changed. Without fail, I say the beard or the glasses. Why is that? If I had gained 100 pounds, that would be reasonable to leave out, but having lost it is a good thing.

In many ways, I don’t consider myself to have done anything particularly impressive. I eat right and I exercise; millions of people do that in this country every single day. Lots of them have eaten right and exercised for their whole lives, and they’ve always been fit. I’m extremely happy that I’ve been able to stick with what’s right to do and that I’ve seen the fruits of that labor, but in reality, I’m like a deadbeat dad that’s strung together six straight full child-support payments. It’s doing the right thing, but it wouldn’t take long to go back.

And going back to the previous point, I really like dressing well. I’m going to throw in another plug for Old Navy here (even though my attempts at becoming a Tapatio endorser have gone nowhere). They have really good clothes for dirt cheap. Have you ever been to a big and tall store? It’s awful. Everything is ridiculously expensive – if you want a band t-shirt as a regular person, you pay $18 at Hot Topic, but us fatties spend $38. Nothing is what you would call stylish. It’s either two years out of style, or infinity, because it was always goddamn hideous. I spent $65 for a sweater once. I spent $13 for one at Old Navy. F*ck you, Casual Male. My visage shall never darken your doorway again!

So hopefully tomorrow will be the day that I leave the ranks of the three-billers once and for all. The next completely esoteric milestone for me will be 275 pounds. This isn’t an important number because it’s 25 less; it’s an important number because when I was in high school, I wrestled in the 275-pound weight class (albeit while weighing 225-230 pounds at the time) and for some reason, being light enough to qualify is a weirdly big deal.

For now, I’ll keep on doing what I’m doing. I’ll eat right, work out like a motherf*cker, and the next time you see me, don’t be surprised if I’m wearing something better than you’re used to. After all, as ZZ Top says, every girl’s crazy about a sharp-dressed man. (Hey, new karaoke idea!)
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  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

FITAT50 11/20/2012 10:56PM

    Yay for Old Navy! i can't wait for WI tomorrow! Don't keep me waiting all day!

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LISSASLOSINIT 11/16/2012 10:11PM

    good luck getting to your next weight loss milestone! You're a real inspiration. :) and, enjoy shopping! I really need to make my hubby read this blog post, at least the bits where you talk about how nice it feels to dress well... he is 33 years old and all he wears are pants that don't button and graphic t-shirts, no matter how much I plead with him to buy nicer clothing! He is currently at odds with his weight as well and doesn't see the benefits in looking nice despite his weight. You seem to have it figured out though!

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DOOBRIE 11/15/2012 4:51PM

    I agree - you look better without the beard!

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JENNIEONFIRE 11/14/2012 10:18PM

    Really epic post! Good for you-you totally deserve to feel that happiness of "finding yourself" which is exactly what you are doing right now emoticon

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DIXIEWORKHORSE 11/14/2012 4:57PM

    Ha! I understand completely. It is definitely hard trying to find dress clothes. I have a suit that I bought that the pants look like something MC Hammer wore in the 80's. Thankfully everything is starting to slim up and like you have gotten past the 3 bills and looking forward to the next. Congratulations

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OBIESMOM2 11/14/2012 12:36PM

    you, my Spark friend, are A W E S O M E!

yep, I just looked up AWESOME in the dictionary and there's your picture!

and every girl IS crazy about a sharp dressed man emoticon

DH is not even 5'6" - and he's wearing 44 or 46 waist pants. See what a great job you are doing???

emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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GREASYJOAN 11/14/2012 11:58AM

    Excellent news! It's a real pleasure to go down sizes and helps to validate outwardly what sometimes the scale and your own sense of well-being seem a bit too vague to cling to. emoticon

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LUCYLU22 11/14/2012 11:44AM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon would LOVE to see a picture of your "hip" new style emoticon YOU are doing SOO amazingly, keep up the AWESOME work!! 300 then 275 will be here in NO time at the rate you are going!!

emoticon my friend, just emoticon

Comment edited on: 11/14/2012 11:44:33 AM

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POMATOJUICE 11/14/2012 11:08AM

    Yeah, the women's equivalent plus sized stores are really super expensive for clothes that arent' that flattering. I'm so happy I don't have to go to Lane Bryant anymore.

I have mixed feelinsg about Old Navy. You can get some REALLY cheap stuff there, but the quality can be hit-or-miss. I have a pullover and a sweater from them that are over 10+ years old and still look fantastic, but I've had other things wear out in less than a year. I actually havent' bought anything at Old Navy in years, because I assumed none of it would fit.

I dunno. I was able to buy normal sized jeans not too long ago, so maybe Old Navy would fit me now :X

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SOFT_VAL67 11/14/2012 9:05AM

    Yes...every girl is crazy about a sharp dressed man!!!! And a confident, funny, cute one too!!! You know you got this!!! that one pound to make it to under 3, its just like brushing it off your shoulder, of your new wool coat!!!
clothes shopping....blah....i am still not in that mind set just yet, but hoping to get there, imagine how we girls feel...getting catalogs for plus size clothes, and yet all the models are probably a size 8...they just show the models wearing clothes that on them look like a moo moo hanging.
but we girls know, as we are looking at them, how they are going to look on us!!!
its hideous.
but i love reading your blogs, and i just might have to make a trip to Old Navy now....I think there is one in Johnson City, Tn, which is only 3 hours from me, but hey!!!!
please blog more, I get such insight from you....and I just think you are sexy and cute too!!! emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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KALIOPPE 11/14/2012 7:54AM

    Congrats on your weightloss and for finding nice jeans at a good price. It is especially great to hear you have rediscovered your style! :) It sucks to have to frequent places where clothing is not only expensive but hideously ugly to boot. It's like a double whammy dose of humiliation. I make a big deal of taking my hideous clothing and ceremoniously folding them into a cardboard box to be donated to a charity shop. I'm happy to say the pile is growing. As soon as the aforementioned starts tripping me up or falling off my hips, it goes into the box. Don't tell anyone, but sometimes I'll even sneak something in that still fits, because I just can't stand to look at it anymore, much less wear it again. Good luck on getting under 300! emoticon

Comment edited on: 11/14/2012 7:55:56 AM

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MAGGIEVAN 11/14/2012 1:00AM

    You can do it! I hope you give yourself a pat on the back for everything you have already achieved.

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ADARKARA 11/13/2012 8:34PM

    You are doing so fantastically great! I too have been considering going back to shopping at old navy, but I'm wondering if I am now 'too old' for it. I'm only 31, but you never know. ;)

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ALLISON145 11/13/2012 7:23PM

    Congrats, man. I'm still getting used to grabbing the correct size on the rack instead of something five sizes too large like the old days. Oh, and remembering that those big blousy shirts looked rubbish on me when I was big, but somehow they look even worse in smaller sizes. LOL! Have to change styles!

Allison

Comment edited on: 11/13/2012 7:24:50 PM

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LIVEDAILY 11/13/2012 7:20PM

    The clothes will not make you.

YOU make the clothes.

You most likely always were a sharp dressed man inside. Now you get to be that way on the outside.

Personally...I think you look very handsome without the beard.
emoticon

Kohl's has nice shirts and sweaters in their men's dept, and if you look carefully, you'll see they carry tall sizes too! My Dad was 6'6" and my brother is 6'5".

Have fun shopping!

Oh...doofus, you aren't.

Comment edited on: 11/13/2012 7:21:04 PM

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SEXBOBOMB 11/13/2012 7:05PM

    Love that you're finding the Hipster Within!

Congrats on your continuing evolution, my friend!
emoticon

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NOMORENOMORE 11/13/2012 7:00PM

    You are a very humble man. You lost over 100 pounds!!!! That's AMAZING and you are to be congratulated. It's kind of a big deal! emoticon

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BLUE42DOWN 11/13/2012 6:57PM

    emoticon emoticon on a successful shopping trip! Clothes are definitely a big thing when you tip past that point of being too big to shop anywhere but "big people" stores with their horrid selections. Enjoy your trendy hipsterness!

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HMAZIS 11/13/2012 6:56PM

    Congrats on your amazing weight loss and the new journey of being a hipster! Good for you! Way to go. Good luck getting to your next goal, I am sure you can do it. emoticon

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CHEETARA79 11/13/2012 6:55PM

    The big and tall store really, really sucks. My fiance is 6'4"ish and topped out at 455 pounds. Even now at around 350 pounds, he can't fit into the regular sizes. (He's on spark too so this is not secret weight information.) I actually wind up doing a lot of shopping for him because he hates it.

The best store we've found for his clothing is Burlington Coat Factory. I know, it seems like a weird choice but they have a good big and tall section with extremely reasonable prices. Plus, they tend to stock more of the urban, youthful brands so he doesn't look like an old fuddy duddy (he is 29). He has, on more than one occasion, accused me of giving him a "hip hop makeover."

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