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Hell Have No Fury Like My DH and Daughter

Tuesday, November 13, 2012

I refused to type up a paper for the husband today. He has gotten himself into a legal financial tight spot regarding a credit card which has been on going for 3 years. He has now been subpoenaed. I have offered him my advice, help and support up until today. Once more he has decided not to respect nor follow anything I have to say on the matter and has ended up in more trouble. Today I finally drew the line and told him he was on his own. He can type up his own response to the attorneys or find someone else to do it for him. It was a small line in the sand, true but I don't feel I should help him out again only to have him not listen to sound advice and therefore dig the hole deeper.

Well all hell broke loose! He called our daughter and asked her to do it for him. After a small hassle she decided to help him out. At the same time the two of them came to the conclusion that "I" was the real problem. I wasn't being a good, dutiful wife. So for that the daughter decided I was not allowed to see my grandson today as planned. I was being punished for saying no to typing up the paper. UNBELIEVABLE! I lost precious time with my grandson over this.

After trying in vain to get both of them to see the error of their ways I realized there was nothing I could do. My daughter had made up her mind. Like I have said before she will use any reason to hurt. Her view on the subject is that I should have done "my duty" as DH's wife even if I was frustrated with his stupidity. Her words! I look at it in terms that it is a paper for God's sake. Not a huge deal breaker in my book and certainly not something that should have been tied to time spent with the grandson. DH refuses to listen to anyone's advice, especially mine, not only in this instance but in others, and keeps making poor financial choices. I have had it, and feel if he wants to continue making bad choices than by God he needs to take full responsibility for them and can type up his own responses to attorneys and such. At the moment however he is over at the daughter's, having her do his work for him and I might add, seeing our grandson.

Frustration and anger are but two of the feelings running rampant in me at the moment. Sadness at missing out on the little guy today is HUGE to say the least. emoticon
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    1955 days ago
  • FRAN0426
    I never heard that not doing a spouses responsibility ( for a mess that spouse created was your duty. It is time for the spouse to own up to the mess. Sad that your DD has taken sides and is willing to do this letter for him, now he doesn't need to stand up to his mess, but one dy he will have to. Sorry your DD is being childish taking it out on you by not allowing you to see your grandson.
    1955 days ago
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    Stand your ground Sallie.
    1955 days ago
    You will be in my Prayers. I am in a similar position with My DH but his involves the IRS. I agree with your position 1,000%!!!! Maybe after your DD has been 'used' a few times she will "Get It"
    1956 days ago
    Sorry that you missed out on time with your grandson today. You're in my prayers.
    1956 days ago
    emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon I am so sorry! HuGs! Jean
    1956 days ago
    Hope , as a family , you get this worked out. Maybe counseling from an outside source would help. emoticon
    1956 days ago
  • RURAL3
    I am well acquainted with the grandkids being used as pawns. I am sorry you are having to go through this It is the only leverage she has with you. So she freely uses it because she knows it is the only way she can get to you. Unfortunately now they have banded together. I think it will backfire in the end though. Maybe not in the near future but down the road. My 11 year old now sees it clearly how mean her mother was to me. She is very mad at her about all of it; It will backfire. Just know that you are loved Sallie. I am praying for your sadness tonight. emoticon
    1957 days ago
    Accountability and responsibility... and I will not get started on this. I am sorry you are going through this. If DH feels entitled to having others take responsibility for his actions, he will look for someone to do his bidding. Taking your stand may not change him. However, drawing the line may help you feel better to not engage in his co-dependent behaviors. emoticon emoticon
    1957 days ago
  • JO88BAKO
    Good for you! Quite a few years ago my DH got credit cards-I knew nothing about. He charged and charged. One day when I was home sick I got the mail, and there the bills were. I was furious. His mothers advice was file bankrupcy. I told him you do that, you're on your own. I will not be any part of that. Wanting to stay married, he worked and finally paid the bills off. He cut the cards up. To this day we don't use credit cards. If we can't pay for it or put it on lay away, we don't get it. Best of luck to you. They may get mad at you, but someday they will thank you.
    1957 days ago
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