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My life isn't going to plan.

Tuesday, November 13, 2012

I'm not going lie I am not happy . I'm broken. I'm pissed. I'm stressed out. I hate living on a cot in my parents living room. I hate not having a place to call my own. I've been putting in my applications for jobs like almost every day and I haven't had one call yet! My dad didn't leave money to get my permit so I can work on getting my license so now almost everything I had planned has been put back. I have been working out amost every day with jumping jacks and other stuff and it still doesnt look like Im losing weight. I still look just as fat as I had been, I don't notice a damn thing. I just really want to run away. I want things to get better but I doubt they'll get better where Im at. I want to punch something! I want to scream! I want to lose weight and I want to be healthier... I want to be better than just okay. I don't want to be mersiable. I want to be happy. I want someone to be in love with me and who will help me. I don't want to be alone... I wanna know that I'm worth something to someone and someone who'll fight for me and for us. I just want to know that I can be happy. I just want to know that I'm needed. That I make someone happy enough to want to stay with me....
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    1294 days ago
    You've really been going through a tough time and it doesn't seem as though you've gotten the support to help you through it. Any chance you can go ahead with the move to Las Vegas? Running away isn't the answer but sometimes starting over is the only way to put the past behind us.

    He really broke up with you because he wanted "to see where things would go with someone else"? Is he really THAT special? What about him is so grand that makes that crap worth putting up with? What about you is so... broken... to make you put up with it and want him back?

    As for the weight loss, stress is a major blocker. Are you tracking your food/drink intake? Getting enough water? Avoiding alcohol like the plague? Have you started a new medication? Can you take a picture of your stomach once a week? It might be that the progress is there but subtle and comparing images a week apart could help you see it better.

    Best wishes, sweetie. There's nothing fun about a broken heart. Sometimes we have to clear out the crap so there's room for the good stuff that's waiting for us! emoticon
    1294 days ago
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