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    TORTISE110   99,959
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Dealing with People Who Deplete Us

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Tuesday, November 13, 2012

I found a quote this morning that helped me with my worrying about someone else's drama and am sharing it here. I know we all get caught up in other's stuff from time to time. This is from Martha Beck:

"When we force ourselves to connect against our heart's desires, we create false, resentful relationships; when we disconnect from the people who deplete us, we set them free to find their tribes while we find ours."
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  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

CHERYLSBUTT 11/14/2012 5:03PM

    To everything there is a season!

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JANETTEB553 11/14/2012 4:59PM

    emoticon

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ANNIE1114 11/14/2012 4:51PM

  Thanks for sharing.

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LEEVER 11/14/2012 4:44PM

  Excellent, and often difficult to do as we are so accustomed to worry about 'what other people think of us', they won't like us or whatever. We need to think more of ourselves! Thanks, Y.

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TORTISE110 11/14/2012 4:40PM

    I am so thrilled that this blog touched a nerve with so many. Obviously we struggle with this and I know it is important for me. As a parent we sometimes have to love the child and dislike the behavior. I feel that way about drama. Figuring out how to distance ourselves from the drama and still love the relative is not easy, but I tend to think that's the thing to strive for. How to do it every situation is tricky and complicated.

Martha Beck's quote is good though, because sometimes I think myself too important to someone's struggle when other people might be able to do more, and my energy is better spent being with other people in my life.

I thank everyone for their thoughtful responses. I've learned a lot and definitely do not feel alone!

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BAMAJAM 11/14/2012 4:32PM

  It is true it is not so easy to disconnect from family members who are "joy killers"...however, I find that I can control some of the "junk" by saying I don't want to hear that again... We do not have to be "punching bags"--even for family members. Grr Grr--- Indeed, we can speak out in a courteous but firm way!
Wishing everyone Happy Days!

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SAM60SUMTHINK 11/14/2012 4:06PM

    So true!
Thank you for sharing this quote!
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SLIMTHICK2 11/14/2012 3:54PM

    Love the quote! emoticon

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BESCATS 11/14/2012 3:42PM

    Good quote. It may be easy to disconnect with friends, but not family.

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PATRICIAANN46 11/14/2012 3:38PM

  Great advice......... emoticon

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WILSON1926 11/14/2012 3:32PM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon

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QANTASGIRL 11/14/2012 3:25PM

    Oh so so true......

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GINGERVISTA 11/14/2012 3:17PM

    Amen to that! Unfortunately, I had to do that with my mother for the last 5 years of her life. When there's nothing but negativity, anger, criticism--whether from friend, distant relative or EVEN a parent, it's healthier to let it go & move on. The pain it might cause is definitely less than the other. emoticon

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JAMER123 11/14/2012 3:12PM

    This is a great quote and an inspiration for others!! emoticon emoticon

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PEGGYO 11/14/2012 2:48PM

    Great!!

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MOMMY445 11/14/2012 2:38PM

    that is a wonderful quote! thanks for sharing and have a fabulous day!

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ALIHIKES 11/14/2012 2:06PM

    What a great insight! Thanks for sharing.

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HHB4181 11/14/2012 2:02PM

    very good

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ISHIIGIRL 11/14/2012 2:01PM

    Very well said!

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SPEEDY143 11/14/2012 1:57PM

    Easier said than done when it's family... I like what CLARALAW said... "I am responsible and answerable only to how I treat "THEM", not to how "THEY" treat me. emoticon I'm working on it emoticon

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LAPIDALITE 11/14/2012 1:52PM

    AS I get older I deal with stress by getting rid of the stressor! emoticon

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MARYHENNIG 11/14/2012 1:34PM

  So true

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BLESSED2BEME 11/14/2012 1:32PM

    Thanks I needed this!

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MRE1956 11/14/2012 1:15PM

    Good point - sad that it can't always be done.....

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FARIS71 11/14/2012 1:11PM

    Oh wow that is good.

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BARBARASDIET 11/14/2012 1:06PM

    Survival!

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HEARTS116 11/14/2012 1:05PM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon

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WORLDSERIES11 11/14/2012 1:02PM

    So True!! emoticon

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GOSPARK45 11/14/2012 12:58PM

    Great quote! Unfortunately, like others on this blog, my problems have been with family that you can't just disconnect from.
But for the most part this is so true.
Thank you.

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PEGGYJEAN13 11/14/2012 12:57PM

    This quote does not help if you are in a 3 person office and there is not an escape. I say in many different ways, several times a week, "everyone needs to take responsibility for their own actions. You are not responsible for what your son/daughter/spouse/etc. do. You can only change you."

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DWESTERM 11/14/2012 12:54PM

  Had to do it. Couldn't totally disconnect but am not pulled in. Thank you for the quote. emoticon

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DALID414 11/14/2012 12:34PM

    emoticon

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CAT-IN-CJ 11/14/2012 12:29PM

    So very true. And it seems the closer to our heart, the harder it is.

I really like the comment about de-friending on Facebook!

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BRAVELUTE 11/14/2012 12:24PM

    Love Martha Beck! I've read her book, Finding Your Way in a Wild New World, twice and plan to read it again the next time I go to the mountains. I'm wondering where the quote is from. Is there something else I should be reading?

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JOANNHUNT 11/14/2012 12:21PM

    emoticon emoticon So very true. emoticon emoticon

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MISSEDIVA 11/14/2012 12:15PM

    Thank you for sharing! emoticon

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NEWTINK 11/14/2012 12:11PM

    It is a wonderful sentiment; however, I believe it is unrealistic. If people are close enough to connect to your heart , I dont think you can just disconnect from them . No matter how badly we want to some time , our hearts are the constant that makes us human. Have a wonderful day emoticon

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SLASALLE 11/14/2012 11:52AM

    I love this, however, I have the same issue as another reader. Do you disconnect from your mother (and other family) because they deplete you? It's a constant struggle for me.

Thanks for sharing!! Most definitely food for thought.

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ESME25 11/14/2012 11:46AM

    emoticon

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JACKIE542 11/14/2012 11:43AM

    Very true, thank you! emoticon emoticon

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WILDFLOWER521 11/14/2012 11:37AM

    That is such a wonderful quote. Thank you for taking the time to share it with us. I will definitely be plastering it on my motivation board.

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JNEWBS 11/14/2012 11:20AM

    How True!! I'm so glad you put that up -- needed that reminder today. emoticon

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GOING-STRONG 11/14/2012 10:56AM

    emoticon

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DETERMINED_ME 11/14/2012 10:54AM

    So true!!

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NOTSOFLUFFYDAD 11/14/2012 10:50AM

    Excellent! thank you!

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CINDYSDAY 11/14/2012 10:46AM

    Well said!

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THOMS1 11/14/2012 10:45AM

    emoticon for sharing.

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EBURGITE 11/14/2012 10:31AM

    emoticon

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EPATTEN79 11/14/2012 10:29AM

    Sometimes the best thing to do is let people go because in the end we need to do what is best for us.

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THOMASINA57 11/14/2012 10:29AM

    This is so true and it seems alot of us have at least one relationship that drains us.

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