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Dealing with People Who Deplete Us

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Tuesday, November 13, 2012

I found a quote this morning that helped me with my worrying about someone else's drama and am sharing it here. I know we all get caught up in other's stuff from time to time. This is from Martha Beck:

"When we force ourselves to connect against our heart's desires, we create false, resentful relationships; when we disconnect from the people who deplete us, we set them free to find their tribes while we find ours."
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  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

KATHY391 11/15/2012 9:38AM

    this is so true, i myself have been trying to stay out of others business, sometimes you know someone is going through something but when you offer a shoulder to cry on they see you as an intruder, that or you get somehow wrapped up in the problem. you start worrying and thinking about that problem as if it were yours, we all have our own problems to deal with so i decided from now on i will no longer take part in this.Other than that i try to avoid being around people who have such negative atmosphere. Sometimes you cant help being around such people so when i am around them i try not to participate in their conversations unless exceptionally unavoidable , but i will not worry about their issues or their problems i will not comment on it either. I may give some advice IF asked but thats it.

Thanks for this post
I love it!

Comment edited on: 11/15/2012 9:45:20 AM

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TONYA46 11/15/2012 9:27AM

    Hello Diva,

Thanks so much for sharing..........with the week, I've been having, it made me feel so much better............Enjoy your day!!!!! emoticon

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NURSENANCY11 11/15/2012 9:20AM

  I needed to read this today after a day like yesterday. Thanks for sharing!!!

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FIRECOM 11/15/2012 8:27AM

    I find quotes to be typically inspiring and this one is a keeper. Thanks

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DDPICKLE 11/15/2012 6:44AM

    emoticon

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TDEMAIO2 11/15/2012 6:17AM

    emoticon emoticon

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LEANMEAN2 11/15/2012 6:02AM

    Thanks for sharing

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STUFFNEARTABOR 11/15/2012 2:21AM

    Amen

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BLUEJEAN99 11/15/2012 1:58AM

    emoticon

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ILOVEROSES 11/15/2012 12:21AM

    Thank you for sharing! emoticon

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MARYJEANSL 11/15/2012 12:05AM

  That's a great quote - definitely worth thinking about.

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LUCINDARW 11/14/2012 11:45PM

    I like the quote! Thanks for sharing!

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CKAYTHOMAS 11/14/2012 11:36PM

    Two people immediately came to mind...I guess we all have those people who want us to buy into their drama. I'm trying to learn the balance between being too available (a doormat) and being rude (cutting them off). I'm sure there is a healthy balance in there.

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ENCINOJIM 11/14/2012 10:51PM

  Awesome! Thanks for sharing!

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SASSYTHING52 11/14/2012 10:35PM

    emoticon

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JUNEAU2010 11/14/2012 10:33PM

    Thank you for sharing!

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JUDYAASH 11/14/2012 10:28PM

    Great blog!!!

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TERRI289 11/14/2012 10:23PM

    Perfect...

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REGILIEH 11/14/2012 10:13PM

    emoticon AMEN!!!

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GOALDRIVEN3 11/14/2012 10:12PM

  Thank you for the great advice. I needed it.


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GOOSIEMOON 11/14/2012 10:10PM

    Thanks! I needed that!

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ROCKYCPA 11/14/2012 9:53PM

    Great advice!!!

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NESARIAN 11/14/2012 9:52PM

    Guarding our sacred space is our right. Family or not. We need to care for ourselves also. Great blog. Thank you for sharing.

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CICELY360 11/14/2012 9:51PM

  good blog

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LESSOFMOORE 11/14/2012 9:44PM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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JUDSTERF 11/14/2012 9:44PM

    This has such meaning. Thanks for sharing.

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SUNSET09 11/14/2012 9:16PM

  I call it handicaping them as they depend on us so and we give, and give and give until it becomes an unhealthy relationship. Like the bible states, "teach a man to fish and he'll eat for a lifetime". We have to let go and let God. emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

Comment edited on: 11/14/2012 9:17:59 PM

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DIANNEMT 11/14/2012 9:08PM

    I try very hard to stay out of the dramas!

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PMFISH 11/14/2012 9:06PM

    Thanks for sharing! That's a win-win!

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LIVINHEALTHY9 11/14/2012 9:06PM

    I like that quote.
Thanks for sharing it.

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LIBBYL1 11/14/2012 8:50PM

  I love the emphasis on the fact that it sets them free...

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J2740LOU 11/14/2012 8:39PM

    Great Blog! Thanks for sharing and reminding us, "it is our choice!" emoticon

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CHOCOHIPPO 11/14/2012 8:05PM

    I agree with many of the others who posted that you have to be accountable for yourself, you can't change other people or make them accountable for their actions if they chose not to be. Sometimes if you love someone you have to stand by and let them make their mistakes, which is hard, and let them fully experience life. Sometimes for your own sanity, you do have to disconnect, as I've had to from some toxic family members. But life is interesting for sure....

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JULESRULES78 11/14/2012 8:04PM

    Great quote! Thanks for sharing!

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TXGRANDMA 11/14/2012 8:02PM

    So true. I have always avoided people though who I thought were a negative influence on me. My brother's wife is one of those people, and because of her, I stay away from my brother too. I thought one of these days he would wake up and see her for who she really is, but not so far. It has been about 27 years now!

Thanks for sharing this quote with us! emoticon emoticon

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FRANCES-AGAPE 11/14/2012 7:43PM

    emoticon

AND we dutiful daughters are USUALLY the ones stuck caring for the parents who were and still are negative.

BUT

we do what we have/need to do


BLESSINGS!

an> emoticon emoticon
emoticon emoticon


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BETTSI 11/14/2012 7:31PM

    Wow, that is so true, isn't it? It's so easy to take on other people's "stuff", but it's liberating to learn that we don't have to!

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JIBBIE49 11/14/2012 7:26PM

    emoticon Great to see your blog featured in the spark mail.

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AZTLAN777 11/14/2012 7:18PM

    emoticon

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NIKKIG3 11/14/2012 7:14PM

    LOL... exactly. I love it. Well said!

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TIFFA409 11/14/2012 6:58PM

    a great reminder, thank you

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LTMURPHY7 11/14/2012 6:31PM

 





Well said. Thanks

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MISSILENE 11/14/2012 5:51PM

    I certainly know what you have been through. When I took myself out of the problem, I was able to see her in a different light. She hardly calls me any more. I guess I bored her. And I guess she found some one else to whine to. emoticon

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JERICHO1991 11/14/2012 5:38PM

    Good thought. Thanks.

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ALIDOSHA 11/14/2012 5:24PM

    Thanks for sharing.

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KARRENLYNN 11/14/2012 5:20PM

    Good quote, very true. Sometimes it's hard not to cater to someone else's drama, but when you let it go, everyone wins.

emoticon emoticon

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PICTUREME40 11/14/2012 5:17PM

    Just what I needed to read. emoticon

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SANDYLH1 11/14/2012 5:16PM

  emoticon

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NEWCHINELO 11/14/2012 5:14PM

    Thanks for sharing.

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FIT12BEE 11/14/2012 5:11PM

    Beautiful. Thank you for sharing!!

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