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Will I EVER change?

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Tuesday, November 13, 2012

Ugh!
I had a bad day yesterday! Just couldn't get anything together. Ate bad, no exercise and sat sat sat! Then we had to get our family picture taken for the church directory! Double ugh! I hate pictures. But it certainly is a wake up call! I feel bad cause there really isn't many pictures of me and our last family picture was 3 yrs ago. I'm always saying.....when I lose weight we have a nice one done. My kids will all be gone if I don't hurry up!

I am just stuck in my rut again. I have been doing pretty well this month. Lost 5 pounds and have been eating better and tracking. Weekends still are a struggle but I just need to suck it up and DO IT! I'm frustrated with myself because it seems I've wasted so much time. I've been fat for far too long! I do well, then I falter, then I despise myself, then I give myself a pep talk and start it all over again.

So what do I need to do differently??
I need to not think I need to be perfect!
I need to not use that as an excuse
I need to make small changes and progress instead of going back to the start
I need to LOVE MYSELF----so hard!
I need to get up off my butt and move more!
I need to not hide from it all but DO SOMETHING about it!

Ok......once again......onward and forward!
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  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

KIMBOLEAN 11/30/2012 12:34PM

  emoticon

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CM_GARDNER78 11/20/2012 11:00PM

    You're not the only one who's on and off! (ask me know I know?!) ;-)

Seriously, you have the right mindset - you didn't do so hot one day, but you're getting back on it the next! You got this!! :-) Thanks for sharing your thoughts!

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GLORYB2014 11/20/2012 5:43PM

    We are all prone to falling off the wagon ... as long as we pick ourselves up and begin again, we're doing okay!
emoticon emoticon

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1DRWOMAN 11/19/2012 4:13AM

    Just keep going! You can do it!

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MKINZNER 11/19/2012 12:09AM

    I know your frustration. I too am on and off. I go strong for a week, then the weekends derail me, and once again, I am off my wagon. Problem is, I don't reboard for a few weeks. Even more frustrating is all the pictures I am hiding from. My husband is always wanting to take family portraits, but I always refuse. I do not want to have a record or proof of me being this fat. I feel like if I do not record it for all prosperity, then maybe it never happened. Problem is, I am fat. I still refuse to take pictures, but inside it hurts me because I feel like I am missing out on preserving memories with my kids.

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4GREEN4 11/17/2012 3:22PM

  emoticon

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NOTGIVINGUP49 11/15/2012 10:37PM

    I was not able to make any lasting change until I truly learned to love myself JUST AS I AM--WORTS & ALL! It took a long time, but it is possible! I came to BELIEVE that change is possible and then I gave to others what I needed. Crazy as it may sound then it came back to me (ie. I internalized what I was giving to and telling others). For over 45 years I didn't love myself and now I do. Hope this helps you believe that change is possible. Once I learned to love myself I was able to go from ~450 pounds down to the lower 200's. I am still a work in progress as we all are.
Be gentle to yourself! emoticon

Comment edited on: 11/15/2012 10:38:21 PM

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DOODLEB 11/15/2012 9:19PM

    Reading your blog it could be me talking. It sounded exactly like me. Like holding a mirror up to my face. I am hoping that I have finally broken that cycle. It took me realizing that the only person responsible for my weight gain and loss is me. I had to take responsibility and stop blaming others for what I did to myself. I also had to realize that I was worth every good thing in life and you are too. Yes, you need to love yourself and I think that is the hardest thing to do. We spend so many years telling ourselves that everyone else is more important and more worthy of love than we are that we start to believe it. Well, we are worthy of the same love that everyone else is. So, you can love yourself, because you are a very special person, well worthy of love and I am sending you love and support in your quest. One step at a time. You can do this and I will help you in any way that I can. emoticon

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SUSHIPIG 11/15/2012 3:38PM

    First on the list: love yourself. I know it is easier said than done. You can do it!
Thanks for sharing.

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POSITIVELY_EB 11/15/2012 2:16PM

    How about just ONE thing to remember!!! What's the next "right" choice??? Easy enough! LOL! (ducks as the pillow heads my way!)

HUGS!!!

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KIMBOLEAN 11/15/2012 1:18PM

  Develop a no quit option...no matter what you are not ever gonna quit!!! emoticon

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SHANDOO 11/14/2012 9:36PM

    Don't beat yourself up for falling off the wagon. It's over. You can't undo it. So don't dwell on it. That only keeps the negative thoughts in your mind. Negative thoughts will only bring you negative results. Positive thoughts will bring positive results. Like someone else said, picture your THIN self in your family pictures. Go to stores or online and mentally "buy" the clothes you'll want to wear when you lose the weight. Imagine how your life will be different when you have lost the weight. Those positive thoughts will help immensely! I'm not a Miss Smartypants, really I'm not. LOL I just recently learned this myself by watching a movie called The Secret, which is about something called The Law of Attraction. It is all about the power of positive thinking. Check it out, cause I am not doing it justice here. LOL You can find the video on Netflix and Youtube. :-) Good luck to you!!! emoticon

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LIBBYL1 11/14/2012 9:15PM

  5 lbs in a month is a great achievement

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MANILUS 11/14/2012 4:22PM

    You CAN do it!!

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RUKASPOOKA 11/14/2012 1:20PM

    I do the same thing and oh boy weekends.... I can lose three lbs from mon thr friday and gain it ALL back plus by Sunday night. This past weekend I went from 150.8 ( I was so excited!) to 156.8 Sunday night- Dear god how do I gain so fast?? If I could stay on track I would reach my goal. I have lost 28 lbs so far but it has TAKEN me forever! We can do this-we should start an email group for all of us weekend blow up type people. We can call it the weekend warriors emoticon

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HOLLYBDR 11/14/2012 11:20AM

    I am the same way, I tend to beat my self up for getting off track. In the past this is what would lead to me regaining. This weekend I had a bad Sunday, donuts. Rather than throwing in the towel and starting to regain the 40lbs I have lost I have decided to keep on moving forward. It really is a choice to give up and I choose not to. I am glad you have not given up either. emoticon

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STLADEE 11/14/2012 10:42AM

    5lbs is nothing to sneeze about! That's pretty great in my book! A bump on the journey you will get back to what you need to be doing.

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DEEGIRL50 11/14/2012 6:44AM

    I just heard this morning that golf is a game played on a 5 1/2 inch course...
your head.
This journey begins in our heads too! It's how we look at things, the decisions we make, the voices we listen to, and the key to finally doing it.
You've made the decisions and learned what is necessary... now is the time for action!
emoticon

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EVER-HOPEFUL 11/14/2012 2:11AM

    you and me both love. emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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WINNINGBATTLE 11/13/2012 12:23PM

    emoticon one step at a time, it is so great you lost 5 lbs, that is a great establishment, Why not keep an image focus in your mind, picture yourself at those family photos in your ideal body, keep it in your mind and get to it. I have a similar image in my head and it has been working for me, mine is to be able to be at a beach in a bikini , i picture that ideal body where i can actually wear one, i am a slow looser but i will get there and so will you. emoticon

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RICHILA 11/13/2012 11:04AM

    I don't know if this will help you or not. I keep emergency meals in the freezer and cupboard for the days I don't have time or just don't want to cook. Soup and canned chicken makes a fat and easy meal-that has enough protein. We keep a box of pre-washed salad greens and chopped veggies in the fridge and grilled chicken in the freezer-instant salad. We also have healthy meal choices from local fast food programmed into our Nutrition tracker. I am a firm believer of making it harder to go off track than to stay on track.
Also when you have a day of sitting-chair march!
Spark On! We Got This! emoticon

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CANDIK48 11/13/2012 11:00AM

    Loving yourself and deciding that you are absolutely worth investing effort and energy in is very important to making changes for you. That's the first big step. The rest are baby steps. Change one thing at a time. Too many changes can be overwhelming. Affirm your value every day, often! Make a conscious decision that you want to succeed and you will. You can do this!

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