My BiPolar Express - Embracing Your Inner Freak & Put It To Work For You!
Tuesday, November 13, 2012
Most of you think you may know Sprink but you have no idea. Here's a rare look at the bigger picture - and how I am learning to work with insted of against my psych issues - to maintain a more stable"mind's eye. every day! This is, quite frankly "life at the speed of Sprink."
"Sprink" is blessed with multiple psychiatric diagnoses which include (but not limited to):
Bipolar I (Slow cycle, I am manic for days and sleep for days with a few balanced days in between). I E D (Impulsive outburst disorder), ADD and let's round it out with Panic Attacks with Agoraphobia!!! I am going to just touch on the fact that I have issues with Bulemia, being a victim of childhood molestation and was nearly raped in College. An only child of hard working parents I was of course a "Mama's Boy." An adorable yet chubby kid growing up, my covering emotions with food took hold before my teenage years and by Graduation I was over 230 lbs. During my four college wonder-years, I gained 135 lbs more ballooing up to 365 lbs. And while I did briefly drop back down to 220 by June of 1986 (through a medically supervised diet and exercise plan) - I had up until May 30th, of this year done nothing to improve my health. At one point in January the scales tipped over 340 lbs again.
Fast forward to this year, and in May before my Gastric Sleeve Bypass Surgery I had Blood Pressure Readings of 277 / 177 which got me a nice trip to the ER via ambulance - which probably saved my life that night. I always knew this would be the year for major changes in my life - once Medicare and Insurance kicked in - I had no idea that I would in less than six months lose all but 35 lbs of my excess weight, re-learn how to think about my past, health and the people I will share my next 47 years with.
Had I finally been diagnosed correctly before I graduated college - my life might have turned out differently, and frankly I don't care one bit. I AM THIS WAY BECAUSE GOD WANTED ME TO HAVE THESE LIFE TOOLS AND EXPERIENCES FOR THE REST OF MY JOURNEY.
I am so glad that I made this my year of personal change - and that God has put people, tools and resources right in front of me, just when I need it, at the very last moment - He has never failed me.
To learn more about how I changed course in less than 6 months, I have honestly blogged every step of my journey. If you read this one blog, which I wrote a couple weeks back - you will get a crash course on Sprink - How I Feel and Think - and more than couple teachable moments that you can take for the road if you like.
I am blessed to have SparkPeople and an ever growing cast of SparkFriends as part of my new support network. Seldom does anyone tell you the real truth behind their coping with psych issues - and how good life can be when you learn to accept and work with your "mind's eye," When I am manic I let my mind run like the wind - I have worked through the toughest parts of my past at warp speed. When I get depressed I have to be extra dilligent in eating and drinking enough food/fuel each day - and I sleep as much as I need to. No matter how bad right now feels, I hope with some hard work and soul searching you can reach a similar level of self-acceptance and purpose. I know that I along with the SparkTeam members and Spark Friends you meet - will be here to help you every steop of the way.
Hope this was helpful for you and I look forward to meeting my new team members and participating as much as I can -- Be blessed today and every tomorrow, Your friend - "Sprink"
Member Comments About This Blog Post
I just joined Living W/ Bipolar Disorder and ended up here. Thanks for sharing your struggles. I am currently stable, but am glad there is a place to find support. I am thankful for the part that God and Jesus Christ play in my life, and I have a smile on my face. You can see it on my page, but my Spark photo is a butterfly for the transformation that I am working on that God is doing in my life. God bless, Ravyna
1633 days ago
Thank you for all the support that you have given to me!!! I have learned that you do get back what you send out into this world. We all have good days and bad days but you have to meet each one as a new day and meet them head on. Keep working on your journey with a positive mind set and I will do the same!!
1683 days ago
You have endured a lot of things and they have not changed you into a bitter person. That my friend is a very hard thing to do. You can look back at the trail you left behind and see that you are accomplishing great things for yourself. Using that motivation to tell other who may have some mental issues coupled with physical ailments that it is okay to be human ,but keep your prospective in what you want to accomplish.
1684 days ago
Thank you all for your kindness and support of my most recent and most revealing blog. By "putting it all out there" for the world to see, it de-mystifies and makes my inner demons seem more like character traits rather than faults. It was truly encouraging to read all of your responses - knowing that my honesty is of benefit to more than just my own journey.
I wanted to you to know that as I read through these responses - each of your photos was of you and others smiling. Look at RALWINE, CGWALKER2012, ANGIEN9, EFFIEANNIE (I've met her smile in person!), each of you remember this - your smile is a window to your soul. When you are smiling you are projecting from within all of the good in you. So smile every day dear friends - it beats standing in the mirror and wondering "how did I get this way."
I hope to blog later this afternoon, now that I have finally had some downtime and recuperative sleep, I'm going to make the most of this sunshine and smile my way around town as I need to run some errands.
Before I had written the latest blog I was really wrestling with the idea of making my SparkPage private and coming up with a more controlled setting for my blogging, less public. You have helped me decide to stay the course for now. This is not all about me, it never has been. I have to admit that much of what has happened lately has been so effortless and perfectly timed that it onluy could have been accomplished by divine inetervention. What I am doing now with my faith, lifestyle change, ealth and sharing it here with the world just feels like "what I am supposed to be doing" with God's gift of today. There is such great comfort and peace today - because you listened to me, because I went outside my comfort zone, because what we all do matters - it matters to more people than we will ever know.
My friendship and God's blessings joy with you everywhere today and always.
Your friend "Sprink"
1685 days ago
I, too, have a mental illness. Like you I have decided to change my life. I have started to give back by mentoring others with mental illness in the NAMI Peer to Peer program. I feel this is the best way to help educate others with mental illnesses and assist them in their recovery. I also grow while mentoring others.
You have been through so much and are truly an inspiration! I have blogged about my mental illness and not always received good feedback. You are courageous to be open. I think it will stop the stigma by educating people. Thank you!
Good luck with your rehab. You will do great! It will all be worth it! You are a very determined person. I can not say thank you enough for educating those on Spark People. We need to stop the stigma!!
1686 days ago
You go, Sprink! I'm so proud of you for taking all these healthy steps to lengthen and improve your life. You have lost weight so fast, I'm jealous! Luckily for me, I've lost enough weight (was 285) to not qualify for the surgery anymore (currently 214.5). I have come far, but I'm working on it. You rock, though!
1686 days ago
I want to thank you for your blog and for sharing your life with us it is a true gift to me to read your blogs. You are very encouraging and honest. One day I hope to be able to open up and to be able to share as openly as you are able and to be a beacon to someone as you have been to me.
1686 days ago
I admire you for blogging and sharing these very personal things here on Spark. Think of the countless people, who are also struggling with these issues, you may be helping. You have gone through a lot since I met you in May. I admire you greatly. I don't tell a lot of people about Spark, like I told you on that first phone call. Something in our conversation just led me to tell you how much it had helped me. I am so thankful for having you as a friend. Continued success to you my friend.
1686 days ago
Sprink, Thanks for sharing your journey. You have overcome so much...you are admired. Cindy
1686 days ago
I think it is good that you realize God made you this way and that you are learning how to live life to the fullest regardless of your diagnoses :)
I can relate to some as my son has AD/HD, Post Traumatic Stress, Oppositional Defiance Disorder, MID (Mild Intellectual Difficulties), and is being tested for Autism now, however we have found that if we work with it instead of trying to change it, it makes things easier. I can also relate to Panic Attacks with Agoraphobia as I have have been diagnosed with both plus depression but my doctor has cut out some of my meds for depression, as the more I walk the less depressed I feel and it has also helped alot with my Agoraphobia, most days I can leave the house to walk now and I have started to church again and hopefully next year I will be able to do more outside the house with less meds:)
Keep pushing and keep working with your doctor and you will continue to make great progress:) You can do it!!!!!!!
1686 days ago
Hugs, friend. It's always nice to know you have others in similar circumstances making their way, as well - that it can be done. As always, I wish you well and I'm glad you write.
1686 days ago
Disclaimer: Weight loss results will vary from person to person. No individual result should be seen as a typical result of following the SparkPeople program.
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