Monday, November 12, 2012
I don't know what happened last week. It started with incredibly yummy birthday cake for my sisters birthday last Sunday on the fourth... Oh wait, it actually started the day before with a slight stomach bug, in which everything ran through me, making me totally dehydrated and hungry. Then Sunday morning, I did an 8 mile run. So when I was given that first cocktail on Sunday afternoon, at my sister's birthday barbecue, it hit me hard. It was followed with another drink, and possibly another.... let's just say I was happy that night, and then the birthday cake. I meant to be good. I cut a only a sliver for myself, but then I ate the rest of cousin Theresa's and I nibbled on more... my inhibitions were a bit down to say the least, and I love carrot cake with cream cheese frosting. It had big old pieces of walnuts and you could make out real carrots in the texture.... Once that sweet sweet sugar was in my system, well... My name is Jeannie and I am a recovering sugarholic. Oh man, I have been on a week long binge. That crystally white powder makes me feel all sorts of crappy. It gives me anxiety, muscle aches, triggers ovarian cysts, and makes me feel like hung over, but I crave it like crazy when it's in my system. After I eat it, the next thing you know I am going through the cupboards and pulling out five month old gummy worms or those sweetened cocoanut flakes that I stashed away after Christmas.. nuttella, all the stuff that doesn't look so appealing when I am off the white stuff, I was all over it. I ate chips last week and other stuff that I would just usually walk by. Every time I spoke with one of my good workout friends, I'd say "yeah I am trying to detox it".... but then I'd see the chocolate at work (the chocolate that I totally saw and didn't touch all of October). I was hungry. I could not eat enough... It was bad!
So, I've been clean for two days now, with the exception of a cup of honey nut cheerios this morning. I have made a game plan to get back on track. I haven't weighed myself. I am thinking I am about 5 pounds heavier, but I am going to give myself a week to pull it together before getting on the scale. I have pre-made oatmeal with apples and cinnamon for the next three days. This should keep me from snacking on the kid's cereal while I am getting my breakfast together. I made a batch of plain air popped popcorn, and this is for when I first come home and I am hungry and looking for a bit of carbs. I figure a handful of popcorn and an apple should cover me until dinner is ready. I made tomorrows lunch and dinner, so I avoid hanging out in the kitchen tomorrow. Usually when I detox, I allow myself a little extra food, like an extra fruit, as long as it's whole food. I am going to over plan my food next week. If I get that text, "Happy hour at my house", well I might be passing this week or bringing some plain sparkling water. Alcohol is just another unhealthy carb and leads to consumption of other unhealthy things (not that I don't like a good drink now and again, but not until I am feeling good again) www.cbsnews.com/8301-504
I am hoping to have the extra weight back off in no time. I hiked 8 miles yesterday with 1600 feet change in elevation. I walked 10 miles this morning. I am hoping to be back at my pre binge weight when I get on that scale next Monday. I know I can do this. I am not going to beat myself up or feel bad about what was done. Guilt is not a helpful emotion, so I am moving on to determination and optimism.