Monday, November 12, 2012
So...we are all on here for the same reasons...we are on a journey buildng better relationships with ourselves, our bodies and the food we put in it. Hence we all at some point or another have to deal with the issue of emotional eating.
For me emotional eating is not a massive concern....my biggest issue is that when I am stressed i reach for a cup of warm sweet milky tea...there are worse foods out there as comfort food, and this one is easily replacable with a cup of chamomile tea which has so fewer calories but does the same job.
But today I was confronted with a new emotional response to food i had not noticed before. Sure when Im stressed and agitated in my normal life i respond to food in one way. But when i feel absolutly miserable, like i did today, I realise i dont eat, and that food makes me feel ill. I cried myself to sleep last night and today i have been close to tears a couple of times....but i didnt reach for the comfort food, the chocolate or the tea...instead i drank enough water to keep me from feeling ill at work and didnt touch a mouthful. This isnt the first time ive done this...but its the first time ive recognised this, and also realise this is a really unhealthy response to food. When im just stressed i stress eat...but when im upset and feel out of control of the situation then i dont eat at all. To me this is slightly scary, as I am usually a well balanced, healthy and reasonable woman. But i wonder what i would be like if my life was falling apart and i was sad all the time. I definitly wouldnt need to be on here to loose weight! I thought back at other times i felt like i did today and realised that when i am in the same emotional state as i was today i dont eat anything - but not as a way of punishing myself or gaining control fo the situation - i realised that the reason is that i see eating as something to be enjoyed, and if i cannot be happy enough to savour what im eating then there is no point in doing so. I think i will have to meditate on this a bit more...but still for me it was an interesting revelation.
And for the record...I am ok and happy and healthy at the moment. Just some bad news from home, and its always devistating when it comes and you realise that you are at least 24 hours away and powerless to help.