Monday, November 12, 2012
While I haven't been doing so well the last few weeks, I also feel like it was good time spent learning. Learning about myself.
I'm not 190 or even 210 anymore, so I can't do the things I've done before when I was working out. I have to accept myself the way I am now, and meet myself at the level I'm on and gradually work from there. I know I can do it, that has never been my doubt. It's the journey that can sometimes throw you off. Every journey is different, and since the last few years of my life really threw me off, it makes sense that I am not the same person I was before. I am different, and I have different needs.
One thing I learned is I don't like making myself work out. I want to do something fun. I love to dance, so why not do that? And you tube has a ton of different dance videos. I don't last as long as I do...my endurance and my lung capacity is pretty short. I can do about ten minutes of intense dancing before it hurts to breathe. I have asthma and I know that has a lot to do with it, but I also know from previous experience that I have to keep trying and stay consistent in order for the lung capacity to increase. My lungs my never stop hurting, however, it will take longer for them to hurt if I keep at this.
I realized I do not want to count calories anymore. I want to start listening to myself, to my body's signals that say I am full. I find it rather easy to concentrate on how many servings of vegetables I get in one day than if I have to count all my calories as well. Maybe all of it together is just frustrating but I do know that just incorporating a healthy lifestyle and counting those goals makes me feel better than if I have to keep track of calories. At that point I get overwhelmed, so maybe it's something I will do later. Or maybe focusing on drinking water and eating healthfully and focusing on planning healthy meals (and figuring out how) will be enough to jump start my weight loss. After all, this is about changing long term. And I can tell you I won't count calories forever. But I can change my habits.
I go see the nutritionist today and get weighed. I'm sure the scale hasn't changed. The number is not as important as paying attention to the changes I am making. This is a journey and it might take awhile. It's a lifestyle change and it's worth the time and attention to take it slow and make those changes stick this time. Make it a way of life.