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    BETHIEBOOPS   11,048
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Like preparing for a Zombie Apocolypse (pregnancy update part 2)

Monday, November 12, 2012

How having a baby is like preparing for the Zombie Apocolypse

Awesome Fact #1: There will be absolute lawlessness.

In a zombie apocolypse, rules fly out the window. Eat a person? cool. Drive through the stop sign? Yeah whatever.

In life with a baby, I'm trying to prepare for the fact that rules don't apply to baby. Dance party at 11pm/1am/3 am? No, it's not college all over again, it's just my infant trying to squirm out of a nappy change. Gone are the rules of order. Gotta release my controlling tendencies and just go with the flow.

Awesome Fact #2: Everyone’s inner badass will be unleashed.

In a Zombie Apocolyspe the fight to survive over shadows any grace, social dignity or kindness you may have been raised with. It's all about getting through the madness... Do you see where I'm going here? When you are sleep deprived, kindness is the last thing on your mind. Yet, life will still spin on, with all the advice, the chores and the tears that existed before baby.

My inner badass, (along with everyone else's) is about to be unleashed. An oh boy, that might be worse than the prospect of being eaten alive.

Awesome Fact #3: You never know when it's going to hit.

In a Zombie Apocolypse, you could be sitting, watching TV, with your feet on the coffee table when BAM! The glass through your window is shattered and 50 zillion zombies come pouring into your living room with one thing on their mind. I know my due date is in early May. With Hubby's 30th birthday on the 2nd, my sister's birthday on the 3rd and my due date ranging between the 3rd and the 6th, I am destined to have a back of my mind fear of the zombie crashing through at the most inopportune moment with only "Feed me, Wash me, Change me!" on it's mind.

(As a side note, my geeky hubby is praying for the baby to be born on the 4th of May so that he can say, "may the fourth be with you". lol)

And while I totally mean the above as a joke- it's sort of reflects my feelings too. I'm 6 months away from a whole new world- one that I can't prepare enough for. Because once he or she comes, well, there is no turning back. No more getting home at 4am. No more spur of the moment date nights.

On the one hand I'm terrified- but on the other, I'm excited. Excited to see if I'll survive- if I made my home safe enough for retreat and fighting. My no-name baby is already infiltrating my home as I've started packing away my lit crit books in favour for birthing/feeding/parenting books. I've purchased a cot (crib) and a changing table and I've made room for them in what was my study. I've postponed my plans for getting my Masters in favour of birthing classes for pain management. My computer bookmarks are no longer body sculpting websites, but cloth diapering resources. I don't know who I am anymore! Ha!

I know in my heart that this is just a hormonal phase. The weird abyss before I can feel the baby move, before I know it's gender, before it's time to start preparing for real. Before I can start believing that there is a PERSON coming to join us.

And that's why he or she feels a bit like impending doom. Because: 1. I'm dramatic and 2. because I can't relate the knowledge of biology with anything tangible yet.

I am starting to prepare for the little one's arrival in May now, because, well, preparing is part of my very nature. But it's so intangible right now, like preparing for Christmas in July, and while it makes me joyful because I know that come May, I will be as ready as I can be, and can focus on just enjoying a new life and our little family, I also feel more than a little bit silly. Kinda like I'm training for the Zombie Apocolypse.

Member Comments About This Blog Post:
ANYA_JADE 11/30/2012 9:06AM

    I love your geeky husband's comments, as I was actually born on May 4th. I'm a Star Wars baby :P

I love your blogs, keep them up!

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SPARKLEPIE 11/16/2012 8:36AM

    this is a hilarious blog... I am still just so so happy for you.

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EVER-HOPEFUL 11/16/2012 5:48AM

    youŽll be find just have no expectations and expect everything, will be a great momgood luck. emoticon

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WINDSONG27 11/12/2012 10:00PM

    Spoken like a good mom. Better to prepare now rather than later!

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RDGISME 11/12/2012 5:59PM

    Loving your zombie analogy! But really-sounds like you are going to be an amazing mom! My thoughts and prayers are with you.

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JACOBSBELOVED 11/12/2012 4:04PM

    And by the way, I currently have an add on the left side of my screen for a website that says, "Style for your bump". Even my computer knows you're pregnant! :D

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JACOBSBELOVED 11/12/2012 4:02PM

    I liked your line, "because I can't relate the knowledge of biology with anything tangible yet". I feel like that must sum up a lot of the feelings so far about finding out you're pregnant. However, the father along you get, and the bigger that baby bump gets, the more real it will become. :)

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STEPH-KNEE 11/12/2012 3:51AM

    I love your reference to the Zombie Apocalypse, you are too flippin cute! I am just so excited for you! I love that you are preparing and learning as much as you can and even just by thinking of how your world is going to change is just such a huge step and I know you are going to be more prepared than most parents ever were. emoticon emoticon

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