Sunday, November 11, 2012
Where have the weeks gone? Why hasn't my depression lifted? I've been working so hard on that aspect of my health I've all but ignored the rest. I've just been trying to take care of myself, sleep well, take my medications, get a little physical activity... and keep my head above water in my research. Unfortunately, I feel I'm just treading water.
But, I've realized something amazing this week. Despite everything - the stress, the depression, etc. - I've still lost weight. Granted, it's been slow and painful, but I've lost. I can deal with that a lot better than the alternative.
Last week I posted that I challenged my husband to a 10-lb duel. I thought that, since I was having such a hard time with things lately, that having a little healthy competition at home might help boost my spirits. It hasn't really been a motivation problem, per se, but more an energy level issue. Literally, some days I would love to go work out and I just cannot find the energy. I thought maybe changing things up a bit could show me some hidden energy reserves. So far, it hasn't worked, but I'm hopeful.
Anyway, the duel is pretty simple: the first one to 10 lbs lost from last Saturday gets to request something from the other and it can be anything (well, within reason). A favor, a gift, whatever. My dear H is overweight (creeping up on 300 lbs, nearly 100 over his healthy weight), he eats TERRIBLY, and he isn't getting any younger. Even though my loss is slow, with every pound I lose I am getting a longer lease on life. It's almost like what I lose, he gains. I've tried begging, cajoling, even shaming him into taking better care of himself... and none of it has worked. So, I thought I would try competing with him.
It's too soon to say if it will work. He's been more conscious of what he eats this week, but that's mostly because I keep asking him. I've been giving him vitamins to take. If I cook healthy, he'll (usually) eat it. It's progress. On his own, though, he just does what he wants. I wonder if he thinks that, since he'll lose weight MUCH faster than me (a woman with an incredibly slow metabolism and rate of loss), that he'll just wait until I'm close and crash diet. I asked him, but he said no. Yet, I wonder. Anyway, I can't teach him to want to care for himself... but I can teach him HOW to care for himself. So, that's what I'm doing. Because, despite the stress and depression of the last weeks, I do continue to take pretty good care of myself. Even though I haven't been tracking, I eat good amounts of veggies most day, eat more consistently, and stay within my calories. Not every day, but on average I do okay.
So, whether he plays or not, I'm on a quest to lost yet another 10 lbs. I have FINALLY lost 30 lbs (officially, as of weigh in today). It took nearly 6 months to do, but I did it. So, even if it takes me another 6 months to lose another 30 lbs... I'll do it. Sure, I wish it were faster, but I'll take consistent, lasting loss any day. I really will.
So, the last week of BLC#16? Drink more water everyday and do some activity at least twice this week. Those are such infant goals compared to where I was 9 weeks ago, but better to have some goals than none at all.
Until next week...