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Still Don't Wanna . . . .

Sunday, November 11, 2012

. . . but I also don't wanna

1. Increase my risk of breast cancer recurrence;
2. Be unable to wear the clothes I own;
3. Reduce my energy;
4. Feel pessimistic;
5. Look any worse than is inevitable for a lady of my advanced years!!

So there you go. I just took my five top "reasons for maintaining weight" from my Beck cards and turned each one of 'em around. Perverse, I know.

However:

1. I'm over three years all clear. And I do think about this every day with gratitude and a solid sense that, no matter what the future may hold for me, I'm doing my part. Always always always my number one reason.

2. I'm sitting here in my pale grey size six Calvin Klein jeans and my little grey plaid flannel shirt with my black western belt with the white appliqué stars. I like this outfit. Will add knee-high black leather boots and a black leather jacket when DH and I head out to the movies at 6 pm (Skyfall). Frivolous vanity?? Sure, but also a strong strong reason and I'm not gonna apologize for my superficiality although yeah, I recognize it.

3. I'm feeling pretty high energy: mostly because had a great workout yesterday, 30 minutes on the rowing machine, and a thorough upper body free weights workout plus stretching. Also tracked my food and made healthy choices all day. Have my salad for tomorrow's lunch ready in the fridge too. Heading out the door for a walk. Plus I'm going to the gym tomorrow at 5: 30 a.m. with DH and a friend: when I've committed to picking someone up, there's no way I'll turn the alarm off and roll over.

4. And I'm feeling pretty upbeat: exercise and healthy eating does that. Also I just spoke to DS on the phone and he's making plans to be home for Christmas. Immediately put the money into his bank account for his plane ticket!

5. And, yeah: the mirror tells me that I don't look too bad!! All things considered.

My soup turned out to be Moroccan lentil, with garlic, celery, carrots, couscous and cinnamon, cumin and chili, and peanut butter; really spicy and delicious. Had a bowlful with a large orange and a few almonds for lunch.

OK, am I motivated? Not exactly. But motivated enough to read through all of my Beck cards. What leaps out at me today as I shuffle the deck?

"Life isn't fair, success isn't free: I'm not going to get in my own way."

And

"Dieting is permanent. I am not naturally thin. I must be eternally vigilant and avoid the temptation I cannot resist".

Thanks, everybody, for the supportive comments. When my own motivation falters, it's great to know there are a whole lot of motivators right here, just giving me a nudge in the right direction!!
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