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Still Don't Wanna . . . .


Sunday, November 11, 2012

. . . but I also don't wanna

1. Increase my risk of breast cancer recurrence;
2. Be unable to wear the clothes I own;
3. Reduce my energy;
4. Feel pessimistic;
5. Look any worse than is inevitable for a lady of my advanced years!!

So there you go. I just took my five top "reasons for maintaining weight" from my Beck cards and turned each one of 'em around. Perverse, I know.

However:

1. I'm over three years all clear. And I do think about this every day with gratitude and a solid sense that, no matter what the future may hold for me, I'm doing my part. Always always always my number one reason.

2. I'm sitting here in my pale grey size six Calvin Klein jeans and my little grey plaid flannel shirt with my black western belt with the white appliqué stars. I like this outfit. Will add knee-high black leather boots and a black leather jacket when DH and I head out to the movies at 6 pm (Skyfall). Frivolous vanity?? Sure, but also a strong strong reason and I'm not gonna apologize for my superficiality although yeah, I recognize it.

3. I'm feeling pretty high energy: mostly because had a great workout yesterday, 30 minutes on the rowing machine, and a thorough upper body free weights workout plus stretching. Also tracked my food and made healthy choices all day. Have my salad for tomorrow's lunch ready in the fridge too. Heading out the door for a walk. Plus I'm going to the gym tomorrow at 5: 30 a.m. with DH and a friend: when I've committed to picking someone up, there's no way I'll turn the alarm off and roll over.

4. And I'm feeling pretty upbeat: exercise and healthy eating does that. Also I just spoke to DS on the phone and he's making plans to be home for Christmas. Immediately put the money into his bank account for his plane ticket!

5. And, yeah: the mirror tells me that I don't look too bad!! All things considered.

My soup turned out to be Moroccan lentil, with garlic, celery, carrots, couscous and cinnamon, cumin and chili, and peanut butter; really spicy and delicious. Had a bowlful with a large orange and a few almonds for lunch.

OK, am I motivated? Not exactly. But motivated enough to read through all of my Beck cards. What leaps out at me today as I shuffle the deck?

"Life isn't fair, success isn't free: I'm not going to get in my own way."

And

"Dieting is permanent. I am not naturally thin. I must be eternally vigilant and avoid the temptation I cannot resist".

Thanks, everybody, for the supportive comments. When my own motivation falters, it's great to know there are a whole lot of motivators right here, just giving me a nudge in the right direction!!
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Member Comments About This Blog Post:
_LINDA 11/18/2012 12:09AM

    You are worth looking after! That outfit sounds absolutely FABULOUS!! Lots of very good reasons to keep on kicking anything that may come between you and a healthy lifestyle to the curb! You DO wanna keeping looking fantastic, being fit, being healthy, feeling good and most important, being cancer free! You ARE doing it!
That soup sounds heavenly!!
Keep on being the motivating maestro you are!!

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THECRAZYMANGO 11/12/2012 10:24AM

    What are these beck cards?

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1CRAZYDOG 11/12/2012 10:22AM

    Fantastic!!!!! Definitely in the right attitude zone!

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M77355 11/12/2012 9:13AM

    When my motivation falters, it's so helpful to read your blogs!

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NANCY- 11/12/2012 8:16AM

    Those don't wanna's can be great motivators.
emoticon
I have proof that they can instill success as I have been smoke-free for almost 4 years now. when temptation arises... my "don't wanna's" come out to play in my brain.
You are doing ...
emoticon

Comment edited on: 11/12/2012 8:16:37 AM

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TRYINGHARD1948 11/11/2012 11:53PM

    All great reins to be motivated and stay motivated. Feeling great in your own skin is a wonderful feeling.

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CRYSTALJEM 11/11/2012 10:11PM

    The soup sounds delicious. Thanks for reminding me that some times are tougher than others, but the effort is well worth it.

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DALID414 11/11/2012 9:16PM

    emoticon

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SLENDERELLA61 11/11/2012 8:12PM

    Very impressive list of healthy living accomplishments while going through an "I don wanna " phase!! Great blog! I would tell you to keep up the good work, but I know you will. You have so many very good reasons so well spelled out!!!

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CARRAND 11/11/2012 8:10PM

    emoticon

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SOULOFWELLNESS 11/11/2012 7:59PM

    Loved it! Thank you for sharing!

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WILLOWBROOK5 11/11/2012 5:08PM

    emoticon emoticon

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BROOKLYN_BORN 11/11/2012 5:07PM

    "Motivated enough!" That's perfect. I'm going to remember that.

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JIBBIE49 11/11/2012 4:23PM

    My son, Nathan, had his follow up Cat scans for his teaticular cancer which he had in Jan '09 and they came back "clean" and he said "I know I have to do everything I can to stay cancer free." I really admire how he eats right and exercises. It is worth it. He gets blood tests and a chest xray in March, so until then, we just keep hoping he remains healthy.

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SLIMMERJESSE 11/11/2012 3:34PM

    Great blog!

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TRAVELGRRL 11/11/2012 3:14PM

    I have no doubt that you're thoroughly rockin' those jeans. And who says a smart, accomplished woman isn't allowed a little frivolous vanity too??

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TINAJANE76 11/11/2012 3:10PM

    Great stuff! We've really gotta want it to stay successful in this journey and I'd say you've got a whole lotta reasons to still wanna!

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ROOSTER72 11/11/2012 3:04PM

    So many good reasons to do it anyway!!

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PHEBESS 11/11/2012 3:02PM

    It's a balancing act, isn't it? What we WANT versus what we know we NEED. As well as what we WANT versus what the end goal WANT is. Balance.

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ONEKIDSMOM 11/11/2012 2:46PM

    Which leads back to quantity and quality of motivation. We may not be highly motivated, but all it takes is "enough" motivation to make the next decision. emoticon emoticon emoticon

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