Sunday, November 11, 2012
Okay, there has been a massive revolt in my household and I'm sorry to say that the Paleo/Primal/low carb lifestyle has been overturned. We've had good run but I've realized that it's many restrictions have had an unintended consequence and it's just not worth it to continue.
You see, for years I've kept my compulsive eating/binge disorder under control by legalizing all foods. Because there were no forbidden foods, I rarely felt the need to overeat. That is how I've been able to keep those 70 pounds off for 10 years.
Unfortunately, it seems, all the healthful exclusion of the Paleo, has inadvertently caused my eating disorder to resurface AND is now triggering the same behavior in my children.
My kids grudgingly eat Paleo at home but outside of the house (school, sports events, etc), they are binging on any and every non Paleo food they find. They are also sneaking stuff into the house, I'm finding hidden junk food wrappers everywhere and it's breaking my heart because I know that behavior all too well.
As a child, my mother (quite overweight herself), in an effort to control MY weight was very controlling and restrictive of my food. Because of the constant deprivation, every non-diet food was a "last supper" to be hoarded and/or gorged on. Knowing that is most likely the reason I developed my eating disorder, I can't do it to my kids. It was a valiant effort but I'm perfectly at peace with my defection.
I'm not going crazy and becoming a Hamburger Helper mom. I think now know too much to ever do that but the way we are eating now, though still fairly healthful cannot by any stretch be labeled Paleo. I still believe in the movement and with what the government is doing to our food supply, it is a necessary one.
Anyway, for us, we're back to honoring our hunger with whatever and we're at peace. I'm not thinking about food all day and the scale is happy. I'm tracking for now because with carbs back in the equation, "calories in/calories out" is back in play so I have to be careful but so far so good.
So that's where I am and if it all goes horribly wrong, you know I'll be back to whine.