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Sunday, November 11, 2012

I wore many masks growing up. They served me well for a long time. They protected me from facing myself until I was ready. The one I most often used was the ¡°I-can-handle-anything-you-th
row-at-me¡± mask.

I used to say that the safest place in a crisis was next to me. I¡¯m really good during a crisis. Growing up my dad was a alcoholic. I am still working at handling everyday situations.

I have learned that I don¡¯t have to know everything. I don¡¯t have to remain in situations that compromise my values in order to stay in a relationship.

I¡¯m working at peeling the masks so that I can be my authentic self. The ¡°if-you-only-really-knew-me-y
ou-wouldn¡¯t-like-me¡± mask that prevented me from being me sometimes surfaces again. I now choose to remind myself that there¡¯s nothing I need to do to be worthy of love and affection. I just am. And so are you.

If somebody sees my authentic self and doesn¡¯t like it, that is not a reflection on me. Trying to be who I think people want me to be was not only impossible but exhausting. I now you rather like the real me. Otherwise, you¡¯re not really liking me for me.

Carrying that many masks got me to these rooms exhausted. That was a good thing. I was too tired to fight the program. I¡¯ve been more willing to try my sponsor¡¯s suggestions. Do I follow this program perfectly? No.

I am grateful for knowing that I can be my authentic self in all situations, all the time. I don¡¯t have to change to please anybody. I don¡¯t have to perform to satisfy anybody¡¯s expectations. I can rest in the thought the being me is enough¢¾

please pray for me
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