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    WILDXANGELS   11,839
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Sunday, November 11, 2012



I wore many masks growing up. They served me well for a long time. They protected me from facing myself until I was ready. The one I most often used was the ¡°I-can-handle-anything-you-th
row-at-me¡± mask.

I used to say that the safest place in a crisis was next to me. I¡¯m really good during a crisis. Growing up my dad was a alcoholic. I am still working at handling everyday situations.

I have learned that I don¡¯t have to know everything. I don¡¯t have to remain in situations that compromise my values in order to stay in a relationship.


I¡¯m working at peeling the masks so that I can be my authentic self. The ¡°if-you-only-really-knew-me-y
ou-wouldn¡¯t-like-me¡± mask that prevented me from being me sometimes surfaces again. I now choose to remind myself that there¡¯s nothing I need to do to be worthy of love and affection. I just am. And so are you.

If somebody sees my authentic self and doesn¡¯t like it, that is not a reflection on me. Trying to be who I think people want me to be was not only impossible but exhausting. I now you rather like the real me. Otherwise, you¡¯re not really liking me for me.

Carrying that many masks got me to these rooms exhausted. That was a good thing. I was too tired to fight the program. I¡¯ve been more willing to try my sponsor¡¯s suggestions. Do I follow this program perfectly? No.

I am grateful for knowing that I can be my authentic self in all situations, all the time. I don¡¯t have to change to please anybody. I don¡¯t have to perform to satisfy anybody¡¯s expectations. I can rest in the thought the being me is enough¢¾

please pray for me
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  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

SIMPLE_TAILOR 12/7/2012 3:16PM

    Absolutely

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DEBBY4576 11/12/2012 5:57PM

    My daughter is just now dealing with the realities she buried in addiction. I told her she was like an onion and that she will peel a layer away at a time. When she gets to the bottom layer, she will find the answer to WHY. The upper layers are still there because she held them there with alcohol. Never addressing the issues. We can talk about all this because I am 14.5 years sober and have been where she is. You are digging and peeling those layers.....good work!!!

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CRAFTINWIFE 11/12/2012 12:29PM

    emoticon emoticon

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STHAX10 11/12/2012 11:06AM

    emoticon

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GOLFGMA 11/12/2012 8:43AM

    In the end we only answer to our Lord and we have to call on Him for his mercy and grace . We do not wear any masks for him b/c He knows us as we are. Praying for your strength through Him always! emoticon emoticon

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BECCABOO127 11/12/2012 8:22AM

    Prayers being sent. I was performing for someone else for years. It is very enlightening to not do that anymore.

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GINIEMIE 11/12/2012 7:34AM

    Thank you for sharing, we all wear masks at time, but when they hide us from ourselves and the truth of life situations they are not so helpful.
One day at a time, you'll find the real and beautiful you.
I'm praying for you.
Ginie


emoticon emoticon

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MEDDYPEDDY 11/12/2012 1:48AM

    Yes, I am praying for you. You write what is true for me also, I also know that the layers come back on if I don´t do my footwork in the steps...

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-WRKNG2ABTTRME- 11/11/2012 11:12PM

    emoticon

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MAYBER 11/11/2012 8:38PM

    good for you
you are alive and well
one day at a time
emoticon

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HUZZAH39 11/11/2012 8:33PM

    emoticon for you : )

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NEVERORNOW 11/11/2012 8:19PM

    Love you and am praying for you!

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BABY_GIRL69 11/11/2012 5:13PM

    Thank you for sharing this! I too carry a few mask that I am trying to put down....

God bless you!

Dee

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GOPINTOS 11/11/2012 5:07PM

    Loved this. Thank you for sharing!

Thanks for sharing!

emoticon

Melinda (gopintos)
Perfect Health Diet Team
Country Living Team
Dr Oz Show Fans Team
Wheat Belly Team

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NELLIEC 11/11/2012 4:50PM

    I think that many people when they are growing up, do feel like they have to hide the real self. Hopefully at some point they will find themselves and what they want in their lives.

I am praying for you!

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