Saturday, November 10, 2012
Today as I sit an reflect over my life and how I made it to this point in my life, all I can say is God "Thank You" for keeping me thus far. As a little girl I was always made to feel as if I was not important, the ugliest person in the world. As I grew up those thoughts and feelings stayed with me and in a lot of cases it destroyed my life. I didn't know that I was worthy, that I wasn't ugly, that i was important. As an adult it destroyed every relationship that i had, it destroyed every friendship that i ever had and it caused me to pull away from my family and the world. Depression, darkness set in my life so the light couldn't shine. Although my life was what it was I still held on to the fact that deep inside I knew that God loved me and He would never leave me. At 40+ i'm just getting to know me and enjoy my life. No I'm not where i would like to be but thatnk God i'm still here. sriving to make it daily. to all my family and friends of times past, please forgive me for letting go and closing you out of my life. i love you all i just couldn't handle the demons that was going on in my life so i walked out of yours. although most of my friend girls probably won't accept me back in their lives i still think of you all and wish the best for you. my struggles have been painful, but i'm still here. my heart has been broken so many times, but i'm still here. i'm here for a purpose and God's gonna see me through. whatever God you have for me, i'm willing to do and go. i deny myself for you. decrease me so that You may increase in me, father God.