Friday, November 09, 2012
I have completely fallen off the bandwagon. And it's been a nasty fall. I am not happy with myself for letting it happen. When I got sick last week on Sunday my exercise came to a screeching halt and my eating habits changed for those four days I was in bed... but after I started feeling better it was like all I wanted to do was EAT.. and EAT... and EAT.
I have shoved more chocolate bars, chips and soda into my mouth in the last week than I have in the past three months. I was doing so well and I really don't have any amazing excuse as to why it happened. I just got lazy. My life has been extremely busy this past week. I am trying to get ready for a work trip to Mexico next week, we have decided we are moving back in with my sister, my boyfriend is making changes with his job so he can go back to school and my job is starting to go into busy season. It's been crazy. But that is still no reason for me to be eating the way I have and not exercising.
I am feeling so much anger and guilt these past few days. I have totally let myself down. I don't feel good after putting all this crap into my body. I've been mentally and physically exhausted and haven't put aside any time for myself to re-evaluate what I need to do. I've let my two Spark Teams down completely.. and I truly apologize for that. I don't deserve to be a part of either team if I am just going to hinder results.
I am at a point in my relationship with my boyfriend where it is time to make some serious life changes, and I know that my healthy lifestyle needs to be one of the top priorities with this change. I don't want to give up on this. I was so close to hitting my first 5lb loss and I had bought a new dress for an upcoming trip in April that I was/am determined to fit into and I want so bad for it to happen.
So... now that I've completed that little rant and have gotten rid of the guilt I've been feeling and am ready to move on from this with a positive attitude, I am ready to come up with a new plan. Something that is going to work with my lifestyle and the new changes that are coming. Something that I will stick with, no matter how long its going to take. And I am ready to continue feeling good again.
I am so thankful that I have the support of this website and the people who are a part of it. It means so much to have a place I can go to where I won't be judged, I can lay out my thoughts as crazy as they may be and I know I can get to the place I really want to be in my life. So to those of you who continuously come back and respond to my blog with a positive message or words of encouragement... thank you!