This is a little long, but I hope someone will be able to relate to this and will help.

I have been following Spark Friends here from about five to six months now and I can see myself in some of the ones that are struggling so much. that being said, here is my story:

I lived my life from age 16 on being 100 to 150 lbs. overweight. I dressed very nicely and always made sure my make-up and hair was just right. People would tell me that even though I was overweight I was still very pretty. That didn't help because I was still 300 lbs to 350 lbs in my twenties and on. I tried every diet in the book and even paid for diet clinics. i would lose some but never could keep it off. Then it was years later and a lot of mental pain and money spent I did have some success when I joined a group name Overeaters Anonymous (OA). I lost about 100lbs in a years time and was happy with myself to boot. The group's advice and their suggest program really helped me a lot. Well, I stopped the group for different reasons (excuses) but had nothing to do with the group it's self. I gained back the 100 lbs. and then some.
When I got older, I could not exercise the fat off and there was NO OA group around, so I had Gastric By-pass surgery. I lost 70 lbs. and could not lose anymore. I still was over weight and health problems because of the weight. I started gaining back weight. I gained 40 lbs. back after 4 years after the surgery. I had not cured myself from the OLD habits. I saw other people could practice a good habit for 21 days and it would become and good part of their life. Well. NOT ME !! I could practice good habits for a year and still return to the old habits.
i found that I had to address the mind more than the psychical at first. I had learned this through the OA. I was out of control when it came to food. I didn't seem to have a reason to overeat. I just seeing the food or thinking of the food would set me off. I lied to myself over and over that I would only eat this little bit and then go back to my food plan. I would do it sometimes and then couldn't do it other times. I had no success at losing weight.
I had to admit that I could not do it by myself. I found that I had to use every tool available to me to stop the overeating. Note, I not not say, to control overeating.
OK, after trying everything on earth. I was still fighting my badly needed lifestyle change. I Guess you could say the threat of getting old and becoming helpless because of being overweight put the fear of God in me.
Well, the gastric by-pass surgery was my last (Quick Fix) attempt. I got really scared!!
OA did help me address a lot of my fears and emotions I had about food and my weight lost. I did work the 12 Steps through with an experienced OA member. When you do this your life changes even if you start overeating again. You still have that awareness and knowledge about yourself that you didn't have before. this knowledge is always on the back burner of your mind.
I then started to get to work. I "Pulled Up the big Girl's Panties" (LOL) and started pooling my resources and using the knowledge that I had learned from OA. I started to see NO ONE or NO one thing was going to make me lose weight. I was the one that had to do it and that did not mean that I had to do it without help from others.
soI i started to make a plan for a lifestyle change. I am so blessed that I happen upon Sparkpeople. this really gave me powerful tools to plan the change I needed. That was what I used SP for at first. Then i started reaching out by reading and writing blogs. Now, I have friends here and really get a lot of support from them. this has made it a lot easier for me to follow all the things I have learned through out the 37 years of my fight with weight lost. I just wish that I could of skipped all the "Quick Fixes" and found the real support and knoweldge that I needed before now.
i am doing great now "One Day at a Time", not perfect, but not "OUT of CONTROL". this did not come over night. The key is to stay in touch with your support system daily. I mean "DAILY".
Daily contact is important even if your are doing good or terrible. This is really hard when you are not doing good, but it has to be done.
When you are not doing good you need understanding, but should not be "babied". We need reality checks and see that we made a mistake and look at what caused it. We don't need to spend time in "pity" , face what happen and start a new. The new start need to be with real intentions of not repeating the mistake again. I lied to myself more than I did others about what I was going to really do to change my behaviors.

So, "Pull the Big Girl Panties UP", and get going on the right track.

Hugs Judy