Advertisement -- Learn more about ads on this site.


    GREASE31   23,353
SparkPoints
20,000-24,999 SparkPoints
 
 

I Think I've, Made A Mistake, (A Helluva Mistake).


Friday, November 09, 2012

I think i've, made a mistake, (a helluva mistake,) can 2 people, who have just, split up &, come out of, a 7 week, relationship be friends?. emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

The reason why, i ask this, question is cos, i went shopping yesterday, after i left online, & i saw, my Ex Boyfriend, James Arsehole Needham, i said to him, i hope you, & your family. emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

Are happy with, what u've done, to me now, he said what, have we done, i said caused, me no end, of pain, then i asked him did you tell your dad bout us? he said emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

Tom his brother, told his dad, bout us now, i then said, i want us, to be friends, to which he, agreed to that, i then said, if you see, me shopping do, not ignore me, ever to which, he said ok. emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

I think that, cos we had, not spoken for, just over a, week that i, upset him as, he saw that, i had moved, on with my, life & i, celebrated my Weight, Loss with a, bottle of wine, served by him. emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

At The checkouts, (tills) & he, smiled at me, which melted me, (this does not, mean that we, are back together, again what so, ever as it, will take a, helluva long time, to trust him, again if ever). emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

I realise that, part of me, still cares for, him even though, his brother Tom, has stirred up, some lies (for which i, cant & wont, forgive him at, all ever ever), i still love, James Needham loads. emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

The thing is, some people say, love never dies, (this is what, my Mum Mary, says), but she &, my Sister Helen, dont yet know, what has happened, between James & myself. emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

Cos i cant, tell them as, they would lay, the blame all, on me saying, that i had, screwed up yet, another relationship again, & i just, cant take that, risk of being, blamed yet again. emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

Cos of how, i feel at, this precise moment, i'm wanting to, go to Sainsburys, & get a, big cream cake, as this will, help & make, things hopefully disappear. emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon
SHARE
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

BABYBARNEY 11/11/2012 8:46PM

    Be strong...stay away from the emotional eating...love what was said...focussing on the rear view mirror stops the view ahead of you...MR. RIGHT WILL COME ALONG!!!

Sandi emoticon

The heart knows what it wants though, doesn't it???

Report Inappropriate Comment
LOVETOLAUGH56 11/11/2012 8:14PM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
PROVERBS31JULIA 11/11/2012 12:09AM

    So I'm a middle aged old broad that has relatively little experience dating but two marriages.. time is always a good thing to have between hurts. Better to back up and realize there's such a thing as "love" (from the greek word Eros, meaning LUST... or a thing called "love" (from the greek word Philios = meaning brotherly love/affection like family, and "love" (from the greek word Agape = meaning a spiritual love from above, and there's another greek word for "love" I think... can't remember exactly, has more to do with the affection like best friends who go on to be marries - Storges ? I think. Anyway there are books on the subject, some may be more philosophical then what you want now, but I think it will help you see that there's more to it then whether he made you mad or if he's just cute because you like the way the skin is stretched just so-so across his bones (lust). I've been married before and we were not friends in the way I had hoped (although I did think he had a cute smile and a slender strong body (lust)... and so he couldn't respect me, my deafness, who and what I am, he lusted for his own pasts loves and so that just ended in the big fat D. Well, divorce has it's place, but I wouldn't wish it off on my enemy, ya know? And so then I despaired of ever finding anyone until I met the guy I love and am now married to - and that was so different, he was truly a friend, respected me when he saw me accidentally in public shopping, etc. It took awhile to finally get married, and we had plenty of family drama and interference that I wish, in some ways I'd never gone through, but in other ways, if I find myself looking for another man, I'll have a better understanding about what to put up with and what to walk away from.

Sounds like you already have enough insecurity issues dealing with who and what you are, without trying to add the fragile nature of a "friendship" that's not truly based on a meeting of the minds, looking out for each other's best interests, that sort of thing. But you can learn from this, sort out what you do and don't like about him, and realize there are actually many people "out there" who would be a suitable mate. But the more you know about yourself, ......



oooops storm a'coming - lighting and hail, gotta go offline here!!

edit more later if any interest!!

Julia


Report Inappropriate Comment
3016DEBRA 11/10/2012 5:26PM

  emoticon emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
HDHAWK 11/10/2012 5:07PM

    Continue to work on yourself. If you see him, be cordial, and move on.

Report Inappropriate Comment
PURPLESPEDCOW 11/10/2012 5:00PM

    I think that you can blog about what ever you want to here and not be judged. You told him you want to be friends, now let go. Be honest with your mother and let her know the facts not the emotions. If she blames you, that is her problem not yours. You have the choice how to react and eating cake is NOT the answer.

Report Inappropriate Comment
MARGOMCP 11/10/2012 12:49PM

    I'm 62 and know "it" will all come out right with time. Live in the moment but don't dwell on it. Love does not last forever if it is not emphasized; my first love I was devastated about the breakup but I can hardly remember the relationship now, what was so good that it hurt so much to break up. But that's not the same as with my husband now. We can love multiple people; it's largely "choice" and focus. If you keep focusing on your rear view mirror though, you'll miss what's coming up ahead of you.

Report Inappropriate Comment
SAMMIESMOM13 11/10/2012 11:29AM

    I personally think your mistake is focusing so hard on him and seeking him out. This is not showing him you've moved on. It is showing him the exact opposite. You can't seem to stay away. Is there another place you can shop? You truly would be better off by just moving on. All this focus upon him makes it so clear that all you think about is him. How can you move on and meet anyone else if you can't seem to get over him? I suspect the very first thing you need to do is work on seeing yourself in a healthier way. You need to love yourself first, then you won't be as needy and can have a healthy relationship with others. I am trying not to sound mean, I am trying to tell you in a loving way what might be better for you. Clinging to a man never works, they don't like it. If you continue to "want to be friends" he will see it as "she just won't go away" and that makes a man run faster in the other direction.

Report Inappropriate Comment
CONFIANCEENSOI 11/10/2012 5:30AM

    It's YOUR blog. Say what ya wanna when ya wanna always. It's YOUR blog. Be you. It's YOUR blog: "Have your say and state it, too."

The rest of us are here to choose to read or not read. The rest of us are here to participate or not. Hopefully, the majority will encourage you to just be you in your own blog. And if it seems like they maybe didn't do that? That's okay, too. Maybe it was what they were trying for? Just be you anyway. And blog away. Because?

It's YOUR blog. Here you get to have you say and state it too. The rest will come around when you've turned the corner that only you can turn for you.

Added you as a friend. My fellow blogger friend. Sometimes we blab, sometimes we blog. So long as we can have our say and state it too, eh? Loved your emotion adds by the way. Gonna try that next time I write one out for only me.

Report Inappropriate Comment
ALEXSGIRL1 11/9/2012 8:54PM

    emoticon emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
1STATEOFDENIAL 11/9/2012 6:29PM

    Please stop, reread your last few blogs, and step back from everything. You've been going on and on for days about how much you hate your ex, how much he hurt you, etc. Now you're transferring those feelings onto his brother and your family. You're trying to bring your ex back into your life, and saying that love never dies and that you want to be friends with him is setting aside everything about yourself to bring him back. This is so far beyond unhealthy. You were so excited about your weight loss yesterday and now today you are saying you hurt him with your weight loss and that's good, but bad, but you want him back, but you don't...

You need to step back from all of this. When you see him, STAY AWAY FROM HIM. Do not talk to him. Trying to be friends with him will not help you. You need to focus on yourself right now, not on the drama you're surrounding yourself with. Please consider getting therapy and working on how to be happy within yourself instead of looking to others to make you happy.

Report Inappropriate Comment
DORIS39 11/9/2012 5:49PM

   

WHOA.....DON'T HEAD FOR THAT CREAM CAKE. BAD IDEA. EATING WILL ONLY BRING TEMPORARY RELIEF, THEN YOU WILL HAVE MORE BAD FEELINGS TO DEAL WITH. I KNOW, BEEN THERE, DONE THAT.

YOU HAVE RECEIVED A LOT OF SOUND ADVICE. NOW IT IS UP TO YOU.
TRY SOME DEEP BREATHING, RELAXING EXERCISES. THEY REALLY LOOSEN YOU UP.
TAKE CARE emoticon


Report Inappropriate Comment
WALLAHALLA 11/9/2012 4:54PM

    Don't be afraid of being alone. You deserve someone who treats you with respect.

Report Inappropriate Comment
CAROLJ35 11/9/2012 4:28PM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
SHERRYGAYL 11/9/2012 4:28PM

    Proceed with caution! I'd suggest do not call him, do not seek him out, do not keep tabs on him. Just smile and be cordial when you run into each other, like you said you did this time. I understand you're hurt but there's no reason for him to know how much! Take back the power you given him over you! He doesn't deserve it! You do!

emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
BARCLE 11/9/2012 3:09PM

    emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
NESARIAN 11/9/2012 2:28PM

    Good for you. Being friendly you cross paths is taking the high road. No need to be involved with him as he has proven he is unworthy of you. It hurts now. Time will help. Just remain focused on being healthy and do healthy activities and you can feel the Joy that comes from doing what is in your best interests. emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
3016DEBRA 11/9/2012 2:20PM

  emoticon Keep putting yourself first!

Report Inappropriate Comment
ANGRITTER 11/9/2012 1:26PM

    I agree with GOSPELCLOWN! You've made first contact and have decided to be friends. Okay, fine. Leave it at that. DO NOT SEEK HIM OUT to talk any further. If you do, you will find out the hard way that he just isn't the right guy for you.

And what does it matter what his family think? Are they royalty or something? If he's not wise enough to do what he wants, then please forget it. Be nice and smile when you see him, but DO NO STALKING!

And it's okay to ignore someone once in a while. It reminds them to stay in check around you. Don't allow yourself to be walked on all over again.

Angela

Report Inappropriate Comment
BLUE42DOWN 11/9/2012 12:38PM

    emoticon

Don't expect the emotions to go away - neither the love nor the upset. They are just a big part of experiencing life. What they do is evolve and change, hide then pop out at unexpected times.

If you haven't yet turned to food, then guess what? You haven't made a mistake. The one big mistake would be thinking food would change the emotions or make you feel better long-term.

emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
NEED2MOVE2 11/9/2012 12:37PM

    emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
BARBARASDIET 11/9/2012 12:21PM

    emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
JODROX 11/9/2012 11:31AM

    Walk away....... walk away from the pain and bad feelings. emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
STHAX10 11/9/2012 11:16AM

    Well, never listen to those who stir negativity!! Your life is yours and they do not live it. emoticon and you will get thru fine! emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
HARVESTER54 11/9/2012 11:11AM

    Oh my, love is complicated! If your gut is warning you, LISTEN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!n We were given that gut reaction for a reason. Your life will go on without him. emoticon emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
KAYLSLYNN 11/9/2012 11:00AM

    BEING FRIENDS IS BETTER THEN HATING EACH OTHER. BE CAREFUL YOU DON'T GET TO EMOTIONALY INVOLVED AND GET HURT ALL OVER AGAIN. GOD'S BLESSINGS TO YOU . HAVE A BLESSED DAY

Report Inappropriate Comment
PRAIRIECROCUS 11/9/2012 11:00AM

    emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
DR1939 11/9/2012 10:46AM

    emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
-WRKNG2ABTTRME- 11/9/2012 10:44AM

    emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
GOSPELCLOWN 11/9/2012 10:41AM

    Remaining a friend instead of grinding your life inside and remaining as enemies, is a tolerable thing. How have you made a mistake?

Are you thinking that you over reacted? Are you realizing he is calm and unaware while you were all twisted and wretched?

I hope you can enjoy your life, say "Hello, how are you?" and still shop around the town. Now you won't have to stay away from certain shops and you will never be mortified to bump into him.

I call this a growing experience!

Report Inappropriate Comment

Add Your Comment to the Blog Post


Log in to post a comment.