GRANDEFILLE
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November 9th 2012

Friday, November 09, 2012

Yesterday was supposed to be my first radiation treatment. It didn't happen because I have a little problem with my breast. It looks like I have a small lymphedema or infection. I am to take antibiotics to make sure it is not an infection, meet with the surgeon Thursday and go back to radiation on the 19th. Looks like my body is not in a hurry to go back to work. pushing the first treatment to the 19th means I should be done by the first week of January.

I am definately learning to let go. The controling personality I have is almost dead now. There is NO control possible in Cancer. Might as well give it up and do what I can instead of trying to control.

Truthfully, I got scared yesterday when I was told to go to the surgery clinic on the 9th floor because it looked like an infection. Scared because that was putting some unknowned in my life again. But today I feel at peace with it. I will go with the flow and do what I can to heal well. If we have to postpone again, so be it. In the meantime, I will rake my leaves, keep the house clean and enjoy being home.
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
  • CLPURNELL
    Glad that it wasn't a major infection. Letting go anddoing whatyou can brings a lot of peace there area lot of things wehave no control over. we can just do the best we can!!

    emoticon emoticon
    1486 days ago
  • IRISHDANCERMOM2
    I have heard from a few of my own patients that say they feel they have lost control, the cancer (or other serious illness) is dictating his/her life now. I think the cancer is not the only contributor to that issue but also the professionals in the health care system at times. There are many times when the health care professional tells the patient what they have to do, but without providing enough information to understand what is happening. I have also heard that if the patient fully understands the purpose of a treatment recommendation, he/she will feel part of the decision process, adding motivation to fight the illness. I hope your treatment team takes the time to fully explain the "the what and whys" so you become part of the team, and can feel you have some control over the cancer and beating it. emoticon
    1487 days ago
  • MERRY_XMAS
    Sometimes it's for the best not to control everything and let things happen. But you should never forget that smiling is a very effective way to rule the world...

    My thoughts are with you!

    emoticon
    1491 days ago
  • KING_SLAYER
    Good for you for not freaking out! Cancer is terrible, not just because of the obvious, but because of the psychological trauma it causes. Keep the faith and keep pushing forward. Praying for you :)
    1491 days ago
  • RIBKNIT
    I think that learning to live with what we can't change is one of the hardest things to do. Congratulations on practicing patience and acceptance emoticon
    1491 days ago
  • FITKAT62
    As hard as it is, it's best to go with the flow. Worrying only creates unnecessary stress.
    emoticon
    1491 days ago
  • JODROX
    Praying for your good health..... emoticon
    1491 days ago

    Comment edited on: 11/9/2012 9:05:01 AM
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