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Sharing my ramblin thoughts

Thursday, November 08, 2012

SparkCoach action plan was to share my story, as a way to inspire myself and others. I am afraid I wont be very inspiring. I am struggling. I started the initial phase of my healthy journey with time off from work, to deal with my out of control diabetes. I got it under control, and lost weight and returned to work after 6 weeks last December. Since then, I have maintained my blood sugar control, but have struggled to lose any weight. I have lost and gained the same 10 lbs since March, when I joined Spark People. I know that health is more than the scale, so I track my blood glucose, and have seen it stay in control. My last A1c was 5, which is close to perfect...and that it the word I struggle with. Perfection. I have this view of how my day is going to go, I have a plan A.. when something goes awry, I don't always have a plan B. This is the main thing I am struggling with. I run into many obstacles along my day, and I need to learn a way to deal with them, without reverting to my old bad unhealthy habits. An example is exercise. If i don't have time to treadmill for an hour, or lift weights for 45 minutes at the gym, I revert to old bad couch potato mode and do nothing. GOOD versus BAD... it's the second thing I am struggling with, closely related to perfection. I need to learn that there is no bad, that there is moderation. thinking of something as bad leads to feelings of deprivation, and then I rebel and eat ALL OF IT. I am dealing with night time binging. It's better on days where I eat in my calorie range, and leave room for a bedtime snack. I can generally sleep through the night then. But if I eat all my calories during the day, and don't have any after dinner, my blood sugar crashes and I find myself awake at 3 am, eating. Lowering my insulin dose has helped some, and my goal is to wean myself off insulin, and not renew my script. I know that I can control my diabetes through diet and exercise. Which is the next struggle I have. Controlling my sugars through diet requires strict measuring. I have fallen away from weighing and measuring and I think it is the main reason I haven't lost much weight. I got my measuring spoons out this morning. What will help is looking up food before I eat it, to see the units that spark-people has for tracking, and then sticking to them. SO.. here is my story, and my renewed action plan.
I am going to work on balance at work, not letting the 10 hour days turn into 12 hour days. I will overcome the daily obstacles by always packing my food with me, and will remember to carry my food bag with me. I will pack a pair of gym socks and my walking shoes with me, so I can take 10 minute walks to break up the day. I will weigh and measure my food, so I know with certainty what I am tracking is honest. I will work on the 80/20 rule, and learn moderation and balance. If I am in control, eating fruit and vegetables, with one grain and one meat a day, 80 % of the time, I can have 20%, every-once in a while, without the guilt and throwing in the towel for the whole day. My tools to success- daily tracking on my phone app, my fitbit step tracker, and spark-people when I have time, which with my new job and the new supervisor who reinforces the no internet policy at work, will be hit and miss at home. I am hoping santa could bring me a IPAD for Christmas, but I think that the budget will prevail and santa can bring me new running shoes and extend the gym membership which I will need.
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    Is there anything I can do to help you? Like send you some encouragement once a week?, send a goodie, ads emoticon ress some of your concerns?
    1961 days ago
    Sorry you are struggling - you are not alone. Keep hanging in there and persevering and take each day one step at a time.
    emoticon emoticon emoticon
    1961 days ago
  • COCHRANE0511
    Have a wonderful day and keep it going! emoticon
    1962 days ago
    First off, I am so sorry you are struggling so much but please don't feel alone. I related to a lot of the things you mentioned. I am also a binge eater and if I go off track I find it very difficult to get back on the right track. You have done an amazing job trying to get your diabetes under control and you should be extremely proud of yourself for that!! Just try to keep your chin up. If you have a bad day just try to focus on having a good day the next day. I know you can do it! If you ever are looking for a new buddy please feel free to add me. You keep hanging in there and keep the faith!! emoticon
    1962 days ago
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    Disclaimer: Weight loss results will vary from person to person. No individual result should be seen as a typical result of following the SparkPeople program.