Still dealing with my inner demons.
Thursday, November 08, 2012
Well the last two days I blew it again. I am convinced that I have a physical addiction to food. Or maybe a mental one at best. I blame my husband in part. I was doing so well yesterday till he annouced he wanted apple pie for dessert. Now I had asked him the day before not to bring a pie home. I knew I wasent strong enough to refuse it. However the next day he got one anyway. And not just one but two. He said they were buy one get one half off. I watched him pound down a whole pie by himself. Thinking to myself.. I hate this man.. he eats what he wants and dosent gain weight. So I am watching him eat this whole pie thinking that is so gross... only to have a nice piece of pie for myself. A small piece. That of course led to another bite on a fork when I walked through the kitchen. Then another. By morning I had downed the whole pie myself.. And if that wasent bad enough my kids wanted pancakes this morning for breakfest. I caved for one of those to. I fear I cant control my cravings .. I may have to move to an island all my myself. On a good note I went for a walk last night. It was cold, and dark, but I got my german shepard and took him for a half hour walk. That is the only postive note I can post today. I dont know if I hate myself for eating that whole pie , or if I hate my husband for bringing it home.