Today is day 252 of my "on track" streak!
I've been under a lot of stress since hubby lost his job last summer, and it has really been hard for me to stay on track. To be honest, for a while there I completely and totally lost my motivation! I didn't want to workout and eat right. I just wanted to sit around and eat copious amounts of junk food.
The only thing that stopped me from doing that is that I knew exactly what would happen if I did. You see, a few years ago, I was on track, doing great, and lost 50 lbs. My motivation was so high...and then hubby was laid off from his job. And my motivation went right out the window...I stopped doing all the right things, and went right back to my old habits. And I'm sure you can guess what happened next, right? I gained all the weight back!
Even after hubby got a new job, it took me forever to get myself back on track. But finally, last March, I did it. I started streaking....eating 1200 to 1500 calories a day, and working out. My motivation grew week by week, and I really was on a roll. But then...hubby lost his job again! And my motivation just died.
But I didn't want to go back to my old way of living. I didn't want to go back to being unhealthy, unhappy and unable. I didn't want to gain the weight back this time. I knew that if I gave up, I'd regret it forever. So I forced myself to keep going. I had no motivation, and there were times when I was lazy during my workouts. There were times when I didn't eat as healthy as I should. But the important thing is, I didn't give up. I kept trying. I figured that a half hearted workout was better than no workout at all. And even though I wasn't eating as healthy as I SHOULD have been doing, I was proud of the fact that I wasn't going into an all out junk food binge mode!
I've been unhappy with my lack of progress, though. I know I should be a lot further along than I am. So at the start of this month, I decided to set a goal for myself...to be able to do ten pushups with good form. (I do pushups with my DDP Yoga every day, but only a few, and to be honest my form is pretty lousy.)
Well, having a goal set for myself has done something great....it helped me to find my motivation again! I wake up every morning with such determination now! I am back to eating as healthy as possible, weighing and measuring my food, tracking everything...and also working out HARD! I'm pushing myself again, really breaking a sweat, breathing hard and getting my heart pumping!
I am back to thinking of food as FUEL, and of workouts as a way to get stronger, fitter and better at everything I do. I am doing wall pushups everytime I go into the kitchen, to help build up my upper body strength so that I can reach my pushup goal by the end of the month. I am so motivated, I feel like I could fly!
If you are struggling with motivation, don't give up. Motivation comes and goes, but if you keep trying, your motivation will come back. Quitting will get you nowhere. Keep working hard, keep your goals in mind and do your best. Even if its not 100%, as long as you are trying, you will succeed!