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What I really really want

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Wednesday, November 07, 2012

Often during the day a thought floats into my head and straight out again before I can catch it long enough to put it into a blog. It's part of the joy of being middle-aged (along with grey hair, wrinkles, and a tendency to tut at teenagers as if you were never one yourself).

Today I captured one of these fugitive thoughts, for your delectation.

Here it is: the cold I had the other week aside, I don't remember feeling this well in years.

Gone are:

the overwhelming feeling of malaise that used to shackle me to my bed in the morning

the headaches I used to wake up with

the nebulous sinus pain

the cramp I used to get when trying to get to sleep

the indigestion from eating cheese late at night (I haven't got the calories to spare)

the general lassitude that stopped me from walking to the station in the morning and gave me the excuse to get the bus.

All gone!

What's more, my mood is much better, I think. I was feeling grumpy earlier today and it's so long since I felt grumpy that I noticed it. (I'm sure everyone else did too. The cats mentioned it.)

I've no idea whether all this well-being is the result of eating better, or of exercise, or both. Put it like this, I'm not going to give up either of them to see what the effect is.

That's an interesting point too. The binge demon still lurks, and has occasional small successes, but . . . I no longer feel that a binge is worth the candle whereas I used to enjoy a binge. The last time I was buying for a binge I looked at the contents of my basket and thought 'I don't really want to do this' and put nearly all the junk back.

Nearly all. A fruit cake made it home with me. But it wasn't a very big one.

And then, again, I shouldn't expect to rid myself of a 35-year habit in four months.

Let's see if I can do it by Christmas.

Let's make it my Christmas present to me.

I'm worth it.
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    I know the feeling! I have experienced the same and I know it IS the exercise and eating better. I know I will never go back..the food binging is not worth it. It is ok to have an occasional I did with my favorite Doritos the other day...I counted out 11 chips as a serving! Unheard of 2 years ago, when buy 1 BIG bag, get 1 free would have been one bag for me and DH today and another for tomorrow! The only reason they do these sales is to get them off the shelf...people aren't buying them like they used too....we want to be healthy and give up on the junk food!! So, smaller bags are making a comeback!! emoticon
    It has taken me 2 years to get rid of bad habits on the eating and turning my life around, probably why it has taken me so long to get all the excess weight off-Wow-just realized that - an epiphany... now maybe the weight will come off faster since I have gotten to where - like you said...I don't really want to do this (anymore)-- emoticon
    Thanks for sharing yet another great blog!! I wish I had your thought process and was able to write like you!! emoticon emoticon
    1930 days ago
    Foods affect moods and sleep! You are so right about wondering whether it's the food or the exercise that are helping you to feel better - it is definitely both.

    I talked to my chiropractor about this. He explained that putting good things into your body helps it to balance - sleep and moods and energy level should all be better because of it.

    Congrats on dealing with the binge issues - you are right that it takes a while to overcome. I'm still dealing with them, too, but not nearly as much as I used to!
    1930 days ago
    emoticon Great list of positive results!! Maybe you can think of these next time an urge to binge strikes- And I struggle with binging too, I think I will think of your list the next time an urge strikes for me emoticon

    You are worth it! Thanks for sharing this
    1930 days ago
  • JACKIE542
    You are doing so well, congratulations to you! Definitely are worth it! Hope you get your present. I would never have thought you were grumpy! emoticon emoticon
    1930 days ago
  • DNRAE1
    Ah, I did interpret tetchy correctly, as in grumpy. From the little I know of you it didn't last long. And yes, it is probably all the great things you do every day for your body, that has made all those rotten things take a hike! emoticon
    1930 days ago

    Comment edited on: 11/7/2012 2:15:13 PM
    It is good to stop and catalog the changes that losing weight has brought for us especially if those changes can make you voluntarily put back the binge products because you didn't really want them. And there is nothing wrong with keeping the fruitcake. At least it has fruit in it, right?

    You are an inspiration.
    1930 days ago
    Yes you ARE worth it! It's great to take stock in the everyday changes. Thanks for sharing!
    1930 days ago
    You are worth it and that knowledge is part of what is making you feel so much better. Congratulations! emoticon
    1930 days ago
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