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Attitude Adjustment

Wednesday, November 07, 2012

I practiced positive and uplifting thinking for a few years until it came easily to me. It was so natural that I forgot that I need to practice. Then I faced some new, uncomfortable challenges, after being highly emotionally stressed, and I felt out of control.

Tears of self-consciousness and/or frustration springing forward at any and many moment was a signal that something wasnt right. Something was unaddressed, or I had unrecognized fears, or exceedingly high expectations. My natural state of being, where I feel most comfortable, is a calm and strady base. I am deeply emotional, but you can have a car with a lot of horsepower and plenty of gas, and still keep it from crashing.

My responses are tied to my self-talk and what I project that others see. Based on the challenges I've been having at staying confident during my workouts at work, I need to cut myself some slack- still drive as hard as I can in my efforts, but realize and respect the limitations my body might still have. And reduce how much I think or value other people's opinion about my progress or my level of abilities.

One example: There is a running group that's formed at work. Because of my size, I think that people assume that I'm not exercising or not running. In fact, I finished my first c25k program with NEWSGIRL2177 this time last year. I know something about it, and continue to pursue building my knowledge and getting back to doing it consistently. We recently began a Couch to 10k, and will be participating in (my favorite annual event) Iron Girl 5k Del Mar this Sunday. It's okay if I tracked my last run with a new phone app, that links to this work running group, and the Wellness Director comments on it. I took her vague remark as meaning that she didn't know I jog, and was acting like it was the first time ever. I felt like I wasn't "getting credit" of "being recognized" or was thought of as being less because of my size. Whether that was true or not, it didn't have to have so much power over me. And if I approach those interactions as not already expecting people to judge me harshly for my size, it'll be easier to handle whatever comes up. If anyone is surprised that I run, let it be a positive surprise. And if they don't believe it, it doesn't affect me, or have any effect on my running.

I don't need to prove to the world that I am more than their limiting assumptions might lead them to believe. They might not even have those. But all in all, I need my mental energy for other things, like finding and continually rediscovering my inner happiness.

Plus, when I start off positive, things usually continue that way.
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    Tru Dat!!
    1930 days ago
    Your words resonate with a lot of us. There is a lot of bias against us just based upon outward appearances. While it should be irrelevant what others think, it does hurt. However, it is our challenge to turn something negative into something positive. When others underestimate us based on narrow judgements, it is always to our advantage. It opens the door for us to "outwit, outlast, and outplay!" Congratulations on all of your fitness accomplishments. You are an excellent role model!
    1930 days ago

    Comment edited on: 11/9/2012 7:56:03 AM
    Onward and upward! =D
    1930 days ago
    Great blog, Joce! This helps me put my recent sameness into light. I was hiking for the past 3 days in Canyonlands NP and every time I stopped to chat with someone on a trail or trailhead or the waitress I talked to at dinner the one night, I got a look from them that was sympathetic (to be kind for words) or as you say....surprised that I did whatever trail I said I did. I'm so much fitter than what I look like on the outside and have to remind myself that it doesn't matter what others think! I know who I am and what I'm capable of. I don't need them to bring me down any more than I'm already down on myself for the fact that I'm still holding onto this weight because I can't seem to get my eating under control. THANKS for helping me see that light! I know I can do this and WE WILL reach our goals!!
    1930 days ago

    Comment edited on: 11/11/2012 9:55:07 PM
    Thanks for this reminder. I needed to hear it, especially today.
    1930 days ago
    You are truly awesome girlie! And a fantastic motivator for so many many of us here at sp! Keep the attitude positive and don't let those that make the wrong assumption of your limits bother you. They are not worth your precious time! You know you are a winner and you are just getting better and better all the time!
    1931 days ago
    Proving you are more than their limiting assumptions...yay! When people have hurtful assumptions about me, I hope that they simply don't realize the effects of their words. Being a little insensitive is far too common, especially in people who haven't been hurt by limiting assumptions! emoticon
    1931 days ago
    I joined a volleyball league at work in '94. I was maybe, I dunno, 290 or so then, I am guessing. I was shunted to the side, they thought I couldn't do it, etc. At least the teams were selected privately. I have little doubt I was picked last, just as happened throughout most of my school career.

    I blew them away when they realized I (usually) had an unreturnable serve. Plus I could (and still can) spike the ball.

    Playing well is the best revenge.
    1931 days ago
  • KNH771
    The grass is greener where you water it! Way to reframe things.
    1931 days ago
    This was great!! Thank you so much for sharing. I want to turn my thinking around. It is hard but with people like you around I think I can do this. Thanks again for sharing, I really needed to read this.
    1931 days ago
  • MARTY728
    Stay positive! Sometimes you simply have to show others. I have recently began to practice "positive and uplifting thinking" and I hope I reach the point that you are at. emoticon
    1931 days ago
    1931 days ago
    Thank you for sharing!
    1932 days ago
    Thanks for the reminder! emoticon
    1932 days ago
    We do sometimes color our interpretation of other's words and actions based more on our expectation than their meaning. Choosing to make our interpretation positive can make a world of difference. (Even if they intend it negatively, if we choose the positive, we win.)

    1932 days ago
    emoticon You are worth it!
    1932 days ago
    I personally waste too much time caring what other people think. That is something I really need to work on.
    1932 days ago
    Good for you!

    And I think you could probably also throw in the realization that other people *are* limited in what they imagine, and if others are surprised by you, it's due to their own blindspots.
    1932 days ago
    keep staying positive! its inspiring!
    1932 days ago
    Very inspirational post, thank you.
    1932 days ago
    You are so good at articulating what you are feeling! That is a skill I need to cultivate more. I especially loved when you said: "I don't need to prove to the world that I am more than their limiting assumptions might lead them to believe." emoticon
    1932 days ago
    What a wonderful perspective you have on yourself and others.

    Usually if I'm picking up negative, critical vibes from others I realize that most of these thoughts are just my OWN self-bashing coming to the fore which I need to quell.

    1932 days ago
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