Wednesday, November 07, 2012
A year ago today I started my journey to a healthier me. On November 6th, 2011 I went to Taco Bell for lunch. I ordered way too many items, ate them all, and when I got home I felt sick, tired, and guilty. I got on the scale to weigh myself and it said 223 pounds. I started crying, told myself enough was enough, that I was going to start taking care of myself, and closed the unhealthy chapter of my life.
At first I felt completely hopeless, like any changes I was going to make would never work. But I stayed persistant anyway in spite of myself.
Here's a bit of my back story:
From the time I was 13 years old I had been riddled with food addiction and disordered eating habits. I struggled with bulimia from 1993 - 2006. It messed up my metabolism, my singing voice, and I alienated people to keep my little secrets. Through a wonderful recovery group called Celebrate Recovery, I came to terms with my addiction, and was able to embrace the fact that "secrets keep me sick". I went through an intense program called a Step Study, TWICE, and I'm still planning on attending a third in the near future.
After I gave birth to my youngest in 2006 I weighed 250 pounds. I yo-yo'd up and down for the years between 2006-2011. I was no longer purging (making myself sick) my food, but I had no idea how to portion control or stop eating as a means to control my life. My weight would fluctuate but I was never successful on keeping the weight off, or losing weight in a healthy manner, so I just quit trying.
In the past 12 months I have been very serious about getting well. I pray for God to see me through each day. I have to actively tell myself I will not operate in my addiction EVERY SINGLE DAY. If I sense myself getting off track, I pray, stay out of the kitchen, and find something else to do until I stop thinking about binging. I have taken up running, which I LOVE, and I am having a great time! I also joined karate and have fun getting fit with my children and my husband who are all in karate as well. I keep track of my calorie intake EVERY DAY too here on SP!
I have lost 70 pounds. I have gone down from a size 20 pant, to a size 8. An XXL shirt, to a M/L. I've gone from huffing and puffing walking a 1/2 mile, to being able to run 10 miles. I am signed up for a half marathon (13.1 miles) in February and I can't wait! I have more energy. More focus. I feel happy and healthy and that's the point of all of this. God wants us to live an abundant life. Not a life filled with depressed feelings and constant sadness.
I'm not done with my healthy lifestyle change. I will NEVER be done. There is no done. I'm just going to take it one day at a time (sometimes one minute at a time) and continue on this path for the rest of my life. Thanks for letting me share. :) HAPPY ANNIVERSARY TO ME!